tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051295000680761553.post1590998588216409247..comments2024-03-26T22:52:20.389-04:00Comments on - All Natural & More: Does "in the closet" = cheating?SteveXShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08227922890559563058noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051295000680761553.post-83251843241738277712014-08-12T07:14:11.681-04:002014-08-12T07:14:11.681-04:00These are courageous statements, and I'm glad ...These are courageous statements, and I'm glad you feel comfortable expressing them here<br /><br />Is it "cheating" if you're engaged to an ABG (actual biological girl) but maintain a long-distance relationship with the guy who's your boyhood buddy, best friend, psychic lover, and soul mate? Who gets hurt in that equation?<br /><br />It's extremely rare that one person can provide everything another person needs even in a loving, committed relationship. And it may be self-serving, but my take is that "cheating" requires malice.SteveXShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08227922890559563058noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051295000680761553.post-310326590456846282014-08-11T10:42:44.530-04:002014-08-11T10:42:44.530-04:00Interesting... I discovered my bisexuality during ...Interesting... I discovered my bisexuality during my first marriage and had what I consider my first Male-Male sex during it. I certainly never considered jerking off "cheating" - even if other men were involved; God knows we had circle jerks every Friday night in the military.<br />My second wife was well aware of my bisexual orientation before we married. She was accepting of it too. Then she decided that mutual jack off was cheating - unless she knew about it ahead of time. So, I shrugged and agreed to let her know when I was heading off to a jacks group. Problem solved. We celebrated our 28th anniversary and are still going strong.whkattkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18303183404359234168noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051295000680761553.post-79766226585192585492014-08-11T07:20:01.393-04:002014-08-11T07:20:01.393-04:00Thank you for sharing your story!Thank you for sharing your story!SteveXShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08227922890559563058noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051295000680761553.post-55629782370501569712014-08-11T02:00:10.528-04:002014-08-11T02:00:10.528-04:00Interesting take on the mixed orientation marriage...Interesting take on the mixed orientation marriage. It is too simple to say cheating is in the eyes of the beholder. I was one of those sort of closeted men who got married. I knew when we got married and did tell myself that because I loved her, I could marry her and just ignore that aspect of who and what I am. Then again, the decision and offer of marriage had more to do with keeping her out of jail after being busted for possession of my drugs that I left in her dorm room than champagne with a ring. I could afford a ring anyway. Our wedding was tiny since we paid for most of it ourselves. $300 if memory serves and most of that was the gold bands. <br /><br />Of course, it didn't work quite like that. The first indication was I started doing something at twenty-three that I had never done before. I started having wet dreams. I had slept in the nude since I was fourteen and suddenly had to wear underwear at night.<br /><br />I would notice other men at work, out and about, and when I returned to college at twenty-five where I could swim and use weights, again, I noticed other men in the gym.<br /><br />My first sexual experience occurred at thirteen and fourteen when I fucked another boy. Next was at nineteen with a guy I met at college. I was twenty-four when I first acted on it post-wedding. By this time, I had been married for three years. It was a pretty seedy gay cinema in Atlanta when I had to go into the city for special car repairs. It was just watching a gay porn and jacking off, but other men watched me.<br /><br />I was twenty-seven before I had actual physical contact with another man. This was in a porn shop just before the puritan spasm in Atlanta closed them all, at least for a few years. Then I started cruising in my car. The pursuit of sex sort of took over.<br /><br />In the meantime, my wife and I had two children although number two sort of acted as a testament to our fertility as the result of the first sex we had had in several months. I loved them both more than anything I ever loved before.<br /><br />I also loved my wife. Just not in the way she needed. Things came to a head in 1985, and I realized on a specific day that she had a right to know that there was no fault with her. She was a good person and an excellent partner and mother. I knew and had known since before I met her in the first month of college. She was stunned and didn't think it possible. I guess I didn't meet the stereotype set by a mutual acquaintance in college who was sort of the definition of 'fey'.<br /><br />It is hard to explain, but I loved her deeply and do to this day. I am gay. I make no apology for it. I came out to her and eventually to our children who had known my friends and knew they were gay. It came as no great shock to either of them.<br /><br />Is it cheating? Looking at porn might be a gray area, but when you have had actual sex with another human being regardless of gender, which can be either a hand job, a blow job, or actually putting a dick in a hole, that isn't gray.<br /><br />My view is if you know, then you know you will. Before you do it, have the decency to end your current marriage before starting to spread the cheer. Be gay, but don't drag others into a lot of extra drama. I think it hurts both parties less to come out and decide what to do if the closeted party has not crossed over from thought to action. That is how one of my best friends did it. It seemed to reduce the level of extreme pain that he had not crossed the line before coming out to her and their separation.scrumrobhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18209454522553156492noreply@blogger.com