The following story is from https://shityoushouldcareabout.com/home/quarantine-fuck-boy
One gender reference has been changed to eliminate everyday heterosexism.
One gender reference has been changed to eliminate everyday heterosexism.
QUARANTINE FUCK BOY
Dating is hard enough as is, but throw a global pandemic in the mix and everyone is left thinking, “well...shit. Now what?”
Dating, as we know it, had been put on hold. No more endless swiping, no more anxiety over picking out the perfect first date outfit, no more questioning whether or not they like you or just like you in their bed. With all that in mind, two questions crossed mine:
Could this be the end of the Fuck Buddy and, ultimately, the fall of the Fuck Boy?
Possibly. No one is allowed to physically see people they are not already quarantined with, so kissing someone (let alone sex with a stranger) is removed from daily life while a deadly virus lives on. Therefore, no casual sex is happening — a simple sex equation.
But what I recently discovered shocked me. Fuck Boys haven’t met their maker, they’re evolving and crafting new ways to seek out hook-ups. How can this possibly be? Let me start off by saying nothing — and I mean NOTHING — will ever stop a guy from thinking with his other head first.
We are all linked in solidarity of receiving the infamous “you up?” text at least once or twice. If you haven’t, consider yourself lucky. Regardless, we all know what that means. “You up?” ...translation... “I’m horny, so you should come over.”
Now, there is nothing wrong with a fling if that’s what you’re looking for. Personally speaking, I’m just not that good at it. I’ve tried and failed miserably (juggling multiple guys is exhausting). Yet, I know all too well where the conversation is going if I hear my phone ping at 11:30pm. But once quarantine hit, I was ready to delete all of my dating apps and be alone with my dog...until I swiped right one last time.
I’m not going to say his name to protect his identity and mine, but it started off nicely. He was very cute, good opening lines, quick banter, and gave me his number almost immediately. Curious to see how to date mid-lockdown, I took the bait and texted him. At the time, it didn’t even phase me the questions he was asking...”where do you live,” “what’s your quarantine situation,” “do you have roommates,” “are you with your family?” All fair and normal questions to ask for the times right now. We were flirting back and forth and FaceTimed for two weeks. I don’t have any roommates, nor did he, and we both haven’t been in contact with the outside world for a while, so I felt comfortable inviting him over for a social-distance date.
The day of our date arrived and we had coffee while sitting in my yard talking about nothing really. Then, he slowly started inching his way closer to me, and I was apprehensive. I was recently tested negative for COVID as was he, so this was okay, right? My head said “no”, but my loneliness said, “one hug won’t hurt.”
One hug led to one hand stroking my leg, to two hands on my hips, to his lips on mine, to the two of us in bed. I officially broke quarantine for a guy I barely knew.
At first, I didn’t feel the need to define whatever we were yet because we were still in the early stages. But the thought did cross my mind...what does this mean? He was the only guy I was physically seeing but was I the only guy he was physically seeing? If he broke quarantine for me, surely he could break it for someone else. Did I make a huge mistake and risk getting infected for an afternoon delight? This just got 100X more complicated than I anticipated.
As the days went on, the conversations grew shorter and shorter. If we were texting, he would casually slip in the flirty exchange asking for nudes. We did hook up, so I could understand his reasoning to request some. We hung out again, hooked up again, and he left shortly after... again. I was starting to recognize the all too familiar pattern. Come over, have sex, leave, and only text if he wanted something.
Then it hit me...”what’s your quarantine situation like” was his way of asking “are you alone and available to hook up?” It had morphed into the new “you up?” text.
Honestly, I had to give the guy credit. At least he was being considerate or trying to be anyway. This just didn’t sit right with me though. He wanted sex so badly he was willing to break quarantine just to— for lack of a better term — get his dick off and didn’t even bother trying to get to know me.
Yes, I am also at fault for breaking quarantine, but I was really starting to like him and he seemed like someone I could enjoy spending my time with outside of the bedroom. I wasn’t looking to call him my boyfriend tomorrow, but I was hoping something would come of it. After learning his feelings were not reciprocated, I felt like an idiot. Why didn’t I see this coming? I genuinely did not think guys were willing to take the plunge into the outside world for a quickie, but I was clearly mistaken.
I in no way think of myself as an expert on the Fuck Boy, but I have had my fair share of run-ins with them and was confident I could spot one when I saw one. Quarantine, however, has left me rusty. The lesson learned here is this: if anyone asks you what your quarantine situation is, proceed with caution.
