It's not gay if . . .

1. your balls don't touch
2. your friend has a jelly bean stuck in his ass and you have to fish it out with your penis.
3. you stick a picture of a girl to the back of their head
4. you're only doing it to prove you don't like it.
5. if you're a greek philosopher.
6. you high five at the end.
7. you've watched Die Hard in the last 24 hours
8. one of you has a girl's name
9. only one survives
10. a girl is watching
11. one of you makes girl noises
12. jesus tells you to do it
13. Chuck Norris would do it.
14. you don't push back
15. you get an A for the semester.
16. you're an Evangelical minister who was only getting a massage.
17. you draw boobs on his back.
18. you cry afterward
19. you don't look him in the eyes.
20. you high five at the end.
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