Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Wednesday PM















'Sup Bro: Eight Things Gay Men Need Straight Dudes To Know

[Hoping this is tongue in cheek -- or wherever. My editorial comments in red in case you couldn't guess.]

http://www.queerty.com/10-things-straight-men-could-learn-from-gay-men-20141022

TAKE HEED

The chasm that has divided homo and hetero men seems to be closing fast. Straight dudes are opening up about the subject of anal play, and gay/straight bromances — not to mention cross-sexuality cuddling — are becoming increasingly popular. Still, there’s work to be done.

One can never have too many friends. We’re totally happy to open up our social circles and welcome males of the opposite sexuality into our folds, provided we’re all on the same page.

Here are eight things we’d like our straight brethren to know before we take our relationships to the next level:


8. No, we don’t all want to sleep with you.

Do you want to bed every woman you lay eyes on? Probably not. The same goes for us. Just because you happen to have a penis doesn’t mean we’re the least bit interested in getting naked with you. While there are certainly some gay guys who see it as a challenge to seduce “straight” men, the vast majority of us prefer hooking up with our own kind [WTF?], especially since straight men don’t always seem to understand the definition of hygiene [OMG!]. After all, why would we want to sleep with someone who doesn’t want to sleep with us? [IS THERE ANY SUCH THING AS A BAD B.J.?]


7. And, no, we’re not checking out your ass. [I SURE AS HELL AM.]

So stop acting all suspicious. Your insecurity is very unbecoming. Honestly, we were just trying to read the designer label on your jeans.


6. OK, maybe we are checking out your ass. [RIGHT.]

But, really, who cares? So long as it’s all look and no touch, what’s the big deal? You check out women’s asses all the time. Hell, you may have even checked out a few men’s asses in the past. (For comparison purposes only, of course!) The bottom line: We’re taking a brief moment to admire your donque [I HAD TO LOOK IT UP -- FINE ASS]. Be flattered. Then see #8 again.


5. Please don’t call us “bro.”

You may call us “man.” You can even call us “dude.” But please, for the love of Jesus, refrain from saying “‘Sup, bro” then offering us a fist bump. It’s just awkward. [FOR THE RECORD, I CALL MY GAY FRIENDS BRO, DUDE, MOTHERFUCKER, AND ASSORTED OTHER ENDEARMENTS.]


4. Some of us enjoy watching sports.

As someone whose boyfriend is obsessed with football, I’m often dragged to sports bars whenever there’s a big game. Nine times out of 10, the moment we first step in through the door, we’re met with sideways glances from other bar patrons who seem confused as to what the hell a gay couple is doing there. We’re there for the same reason you are: To drink cheap beer and watch the game.


3. It’s OK if you like “gay” things.

We see you tapping your foot under the table to that Madonna song we selected on the jukebox. It’s OK if you want to get up and groove to the music. We won’t judge you. We know Madonna’s tunes are totally infectious. We discovered her, after all. And we’re more than happy to share our queen with you. [FOR REALS, I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW IF I'VE EVER HEARD A MADONNA SONG.]


2. Nobody will think you’re gay if you talk to us. [WTF? OF COURSE THEY WILL! OKAY, MAYBE THEY WON'T THINK YOU'RE GAY BUT WILL DEFINITELY ASSUME YOU'RE CRUISIN' FOR A B.J. OR AT LEAST A J.O. BUDDY AND PRO'LY BE JEALOUS.]

And if they do, who cares?  [ULTIMATELY, LIKE WOODY ALLEN SAID, IT DOUBLES YOUR CHANCES FOR A DATE.]


1. Sure! We’d love to grab a beer some time.

On a strictly platonic basis, of course. [B.S. SQUARED. IF HE'S INTERESTED IN SATISFYING HIS CURIOSITY, I'LL TAP THAT DONQUE!]

;-)


Somewhere, Somebody is Doing This Right Now





Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Spot On Editorial Cartoon


Just back and posting again tomorrow. Away from TVs and Internet so coming back to loads of political b.s. This made me chuckle . . .




Monday, October 20, 2014