Thursday, March 19, 2015



Remember that look of joy you got on your face on Christmas morning when you went downstairs and unwrapped a big bag of socks? 
Us neither.

Dicks by Mail is the easy way to send that feeling to anyone in your life that deserves that feeling of
sadness, disappointment and betrayal.

In only a few minutes you can send a literal Bag of Dicks to that special asshole in your life. 
You know the one. 
The annoying guy at the office. Your Ex who decided to see other people before telling you. 
The Teacher that doesn't care about your dead grandma. The person that murdered your grandma.

You came to this site for one of three reasons;

1) You know someone that is a dick, but they don't know it yet. 
2) You received a package from us and are wondering why. The reason why is simple; someone thinks you're a dick.
3) you are on the wrong website. 

We have a long history of sending dicks to people. Starting in middle school with those folded notes, that unfold to a big veiny cock. Moving to texting '8===D' to random people in high school all the way to snapchatting below the belt pics to ladies from the bar/church. But now it's on to bigger and better things; now it's on to Dicks by Mail. 

How it works

We only need a few things from you to get started; 2 minutes of your time. the mailing address of your target, and $15+shipping (you were going to spend it on drugs anyway. This is better.)

Once your order is processed an anonymous package will be sent to your target containing 2 things; A 5oz bag of delicious gummy candy penises, and a note exclaiming 'EAT A BAG OF DICKS'. Nothing More. Nothing Less. You will remain anonymous and silently chuckle to yourself for years to come as you picture them slowly degrading into a shell of the person they once were, always questioning their lives "Who sent this to me?", "Are there more dicks on their way?" and "Why does this keep happening to me?!". Yes their slow descent into madness will be much tastier than the bag of candy dicks you sent to them. 

What are you waiting for? send a bag of dicks today!

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