Horny As Fuck

http://sweetheartbeatoffroadmusic.tumblr.com/post/106540145631/modern-times

Recently, I wrote a post about the porn stash I had hidden in my closet as a teenager. And that got me thinking: I wonder if anyone famous follows me?

After all, the life of celebrities isn’t all limos, cocktails and caviar. Just like you and me, they probably spend a lot of evenings at home alone, reading scripts or writing something, or flipping channels trying to wind down. And even though they might have a line up people waiting outside their door if they announced they were horny, they probably just go online and beat their meat watching something porny and hot the same way everyone else does. You know damn well that James Franco does.

And so also would Zac Efron, Pharrell Williams, Taylor Lautner and any other guy you can name. Being a celebrity doesn’t exempt you from being the horny-as-fuck pervy sex-obsessed freak that every guy is at some level. So I wonder if any of them are following me, or reading this right now with their hard dick in their hand and precum dripping down between their thighs?

If they did follow me, it wouldn’t be with a Tumblr name like ZacEfronOfficial, PharrellOnline or TheTaylorLautner. It’s going to be something secretive, like DickBongBtm87, HappyBlkCummer73 or TopBananaBoy92. They probably signed up with a GMail account that absolutely and literally nobody in their lives knows about, such as zexxx6969, pwluv2freak or tl10inch4u.

It’s the same email they probably use for their secret Chaturbate account where they show off naked on cam while getting off on the fact that nobody knows they are watching Zac finger his prostate while jerking off, or Taylor fuck a FleshJack wedged between sofa cushions, or Pharrell gape his oiled up skinny ass. James Franco would probably show his face and self-suck his own hairy balls on cam if he could, so he doesn’t count.

So is that the new definition of a porn stash? The fully modernized version where you don’t need to hide dirty magazines, tapes or discs, but just launch your browser in incognito mode? With your secret email address and all the secret accounts you use it on — Tumblr, XTube, Chaturbate, Craigslist, CamBoys, Cam4, Squirt, Adam4Adam, BBRT, etc. — you can hide your porn habit, publish neck-down selfies and upload masked videos in plain sight. It’s always just a click or tap away.

You just know these famous guys have their secret accounts out there SOMEWHERE, and if they’re not on MY Tumblr, then maybe they are on YOURS. Maybe someone famous is already following you, scrolling through your posts to edge for an hour or so, and then pounding out a sticky load when they just gotta release. And if that is the case, then who do you wish was following you?

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