Sunday, April 24, 2016

Parody, right?!

Mormon Church Urges Utah Gov. Limit Sales of Vaseline, Kleenex To Stop Masturbation

by H. Peter Johnson
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has declared war against masturbation, which they conclude is seriously harming the lives of young people. And they have decided to go after supplies that potential masturbators might need.
Bob Whitbread, LDS spokesperson, said the church is going to urge Utah Gov. Gary Herbert to impose limits on the sale of Vaseline and Kleenex.
“If a young man is buying large supplies of these items, it’s evident he has fallen prey to masturbation,” Whitbread said.
“The sin of masturbation occurs when a person stimulates his or her own sex organs for the purpose of sexual arousal. It is a perversion of the body’s passions. When we pervert these passions and intentionally use them for selfish, immoral purposes, we become carnal,” according to the church’s website.
Mormon-dominated Utah is known as one of the most conservative states in the union. Herbert recently signed a resolution labelling pornography a “public health crisis.” However, Utah is known to have the highest consumption of pornography in the country, according to a study by Harvard professor Benjamin Edelman.


whkattk said...

Well, the vaseline and kleenex part isn't true...but the state declaring porn a health hazard is. And though they deny it, Utah has long been the King of downloaded porn. The state still doesn't realize that all they do when making these declarations is encourage the citizenry to engage in it even more. LOL.

Justin said...

Nice joke post, hahaha.

JiEL said...

This is so «RIDICULOUS»...

They should put Albolene and every lubs on the list, including ALL towels etc...

Those religious extremist are IDIOTS.