Tuesday, September 23, 2014

A Really Smart Dude wrote . . .


Dear Men, Stop Shaving Your Pubes
Let’s end this once and for all.
posted on July 23, 2014, at 1:47 p.m.

Matt Stopera
BuzzFeed Staff

Long ago, like 12 years ago, in the dreary days of Sisqo’s silver head, Ed Hardy, and Von Dutch trucker hats, a problematic trend began. This trend, a literal “pube killer,” became known as “manscaping.”

* Sounds the pube alarm *

Chris Ritter/BuzzFeed

Manscaping spread rapidly, almost like a deadly contagious virus comparable to the one on that dreaded poop cruise of 2013. It seemed like men everywhere were trimming, plucking, and, most unfortunately, de-pubing.


Scary thing is, it continues to this day.

Last week, we delved into the horrors of chest shaving. This week, we take a deeper dive. And by deeper dive, I mean pubes.

It’s time to stand up for the little guys (pubes).

Save the pubes.


Our campaign for pubes begins with the most obvious reason to keep them: There is something inherently humanly hot about a man with a natural body.

Facebook: modelwarren

In layman’s terms, pubes are fucking hot.


Aesthetically speaking, they’re also charming. They add character. They are nice.


Another crucial role of pubes is that they accent the package. And by package, I’m talking dick. It just works.

Via pinterest.com

There’s also science to back this up. Ever heard of pheromones? Sweet, sweet pheromones.


From my completely unscientific understanding, pheromones are like, to quote John Mayer (SORRY), sexual napalm.


Sweet, sweet, sexual napalm.

Via thickpubes.tumblr.com

It must also be mentioned that we are in the midst of a “ORGANIC REVOLUTION.” All of our beauty products are natural, our food is natural, we fucking love natural.

Facebook: modelwarren

This is why our bodies should remain intact.


Also I heard a rumor that every time you shave your pubes an angel dies of dysentery or something because it’s cold and your crotch is a barren wasteland of nothing.

Via thickpubes.tumblr.com

Lastly, and most importantly, there is nothing more creepy than a man with a completely shaved crotch. You look like a puffy tween.


And I’ll be damned if every man looked like a puffy tween. The injustice.


I also have to add that razor burn is real! Rawness DOES happen. This is not pleasant.

Via shedyourweight.com

And I GET IT, some people trim. You can do whatever the fuck you want to do with your body. I’m just advocating for pubes. It’s my job. It’s the right thing to do.

So what can you?

Value your pubes.

Via beard-boy.tumblr.com

Keep your pubes.

Via gleeguys.wikia.com

Save your pubes.

Twitter: @Chadlips

Let the happy trails run long and far.


And end manscaping.


It’s a pube world, we’re just living in it.

Via fyhappytrails.tumblr.com

Start a revolution and #savethepubes.

* * * * * *



Dear Men, Never Shave Your Chest
Important read
posted on July 10, 2014, at 4:23 p.m.

Matt Stopera
BuzzFeed Staff

It has come to my attention after browsing the internet and (obviously) frequenting locations where men take off their shirts in public that we are in the midst of an epidemic.

If I had a siren to play all over the world, I would. But instead, please play this GIF.

It’s a goddamn plague out there, guys. A pandemic!

The strange thing about this specific outbreak is that we know exactly the cause: fucking razors.


Here’s what is happening:

1. Men are buying razors.
2. Men are putting razors to their chest.
3. Men are shaving their chests.
4. Men are transforming into smooth-shaven puffy tweens.

This is a problem.

It is a problem for a multitude of reasons, many of which are sanitary, I think, but mostly it’s just about the aesthetic.

Via lebisoumagique.tumblr.com

In an age of organics, I am completely baffled that we, as human beings, are straying away from the natural…


…and by the natural, I’m talking about shaving the natural-born hair on chests.


It doesn’t get more organic than that!


As our forefathers said when they got off the Niña, Pinta, and Santa Maria, “WE ARE HERE TO LIVE NATURAL, PURE LIVES.”


A modern-day interpretation of that quote would assume they meant, “DO NOT SHAVE YOUR GODDAMN CHEST.”


Besides that powerful quote, we have photos that show, in FULL COLOR and few filters, the importance of chest hair.


It just enhances photos.

Via guymirrorphone.tumblr.com

It brings guys to that next level.

Via guymirrorphone.tumblr.com

I mean, this guy would be beyond basic without that little bit of hair.

Via guymirrorphone.tumblr.com

And this guy? Forget about it. As they say on television, “The hair makes the man!”

Via buspironet.tumblr.com

Lastly, I’ll just leave you with random hot guys with hairy chests because this is BuzzFeed and this is how we prove points.


Yes, please.



Frederick M. Brown / Getty Images

Point proven.


I think my work here is done.


I just want to say one more thing: Chest hair is really awesome because it’s a literal style accessory. This shirt would be nothing without the hair. Nothing.


OK bye.

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