Monday, May 1, 2017

I *hope* it's a parody

Ken Ham: “Dinosaurs Perished In Flood After Noah Refused To Let Them Board His Ark For Homosexuality “

The Bible is a literal, factual history of the world, including Noah’s Ark and the Great Flood. People lived 10 times longer in Biblical times because the Earth’s atmosphere had more oxygen then. These are just a few of the wrong-headed “facts” on display at the Glendive Dinosaur & Fossil Museum in Glendive, Montana, according to the Great Falls Tribune, which published an expose on the creationist museum recently.

Commenting on the news pertaining to the museum, which have set the Internet ablaze, the president, CEO and founder of Answers in Genesis-US, Ken Ham, contributed his opinion during an interview with the same ludicrous newspaper from the Montana small town. “This is some of the most groundbreaking work I have seen in the field in years,” Ham reportedly said. “I can’t believe it has taken us this long to come this far. I was hoping there would be more crusaders out there like me, people who wouldn’t be afraid to merge the Biblical with the scientific. And now I couldn’t be happier.”

Ham argued that “God had seen the atrocities dinosaurs were doing to each other, like gangbanging and raping other members of their kind. And to make matters worse, they were doing it to the male members of their species. So, in fact, it was the dinosaurs who invented homosexuality for reasons that still remain unknown.” And, naturally, “having seen that, God decided to cleanse the Earth as he would continue to do on numerous occasions after that. But we are certain that the dinosaurs perished in the flood after Noah refused to let them board his Ark. That’s where it all began, that’s the origin of gay people today. And now we have both scientific and Biblical confirmation of that. Hurray for science!” he added.

The founder of Answers in Genesis also said that “Noah didn’t want the dinosaurs on his Ark because he knew that they were swinging both ways.” “I mean, I woudn’t have done it if I were him either. It’s like, you basically have a couple of the meanest, baddest and most vicious and violent animals who don’t care who they rape or eat, and you’re supposed to just welcome them in? Umm, I’m thinking – no way Hoze. So, I fully support both Noah and God. I mean, I also don’t allow gay-like behavior anywhere around me, especially not on my modern version of the life-saving vessel. Gays will just have to face God’s wrath, one way or the other.”

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whkattk said...

Is this guy kidding? I sure hope so because, if not, he's a true nut case. The ages in the Bible were because they counted full moons as years. Take the "age" and divide by 12, and you get a normal lifespan for the time. Hey, if you're going to write Fantasy and create a fictional world, you have to find ways to make it fantastical, right?

Chris said...

As Ham says, "Hooray for science!" (Especially for paleontology, which long ago demonstrated that there was a gap of about 65 million years between the extinction of the dinosaurs and the time of Noah.) I have no idea why he imagines that T Rexes, Brontosauri and Stegasauri were hanging out in the neighborhood when Noah was working on the big boat, or just how Noah could have refused entry to a T Rex (homo or not) who might have fancied a boat ride.

Anonymous said...

I really can't believe that man isn't in a straight jacket and a padded cell if he believes the bull shit escaping from his mouth. Religion seems to really fuck people up. :-/

Howard in CT said...

Did you find this story on the Comedy Channel?