Just came across this article. (Sorry, can't do anything about it being heteronormative.) Remember, as Scooter and Bubba say, one of the best things about being a guy is being unique and not just an imitation of somebody else. Smooth as a baby's ass or hairy as whatever, it's good to be you.
HEALTH & SCIENCE / GENETICS
What’s Great About Having a Hairy Chest, According to Science
Being a hairy man isn't so bad, research shows.
Aug 09 2018
A hairy chest
can be a source of insecurity for some men, but it’s perfectly
natural and may even convey
some health benefits.
Whether your body’s specific cocktail of genes and androgens
has given you a baby-smooth body or the chest of an abominable
beach Yeti,
here’s what science has to say about your chest hair:
It’s
Normal to Have Uneven Chest Hair
Chest
hair was categorized into 15 unique patterns, spanning four separate
areas of the chest, in 1965, based on a study of
1,400 men ages 17 to 71. Sternal, infraclavicular (below the
collarbone), pectoral, and circumareolar (areola) hair make up the
four areas where chest hair grows, with a majority of it growing on
the pecs and sternum. The most common pattern was the
pecto-sterno-infraclavicular pattern, where the breast, sternum, and
end of the clavicle are hairy. This early research also established
that it was common for men to have asymmetrical chest hair that
followed different patterns on each side.
In a word — whatever odd chest hair you have, you’re probably not
alone.
Despite
the fact that testosterone levels influence chest hair, when women
are at their most fertile they’re not that into it, according to
a study of
nearly 300 women. Researchers found that more fertile women opted for
men with less chest hair, and postmenopausal women preferred more
chest hair. So for men who look like they’re always wearing
sweaters, enjoy your one-way ticket to Cougartown. But for the hairy
father who’s not ready to expand his family further, consider chest
hair a natural second form of birth control.
It
Probably Matches Your Father-in-Law’s Chest Hair
Oddly, studies suggest your chest hair might resemble that of your
father-in-law. Researchers believe that women’s preferences
could be heritable from their mothers, or that it’s a result of
sexual imprinting. That is, women select men who remind them of their
fathers — in chest hair pattern, too. Regardless, men may not want
to be shirtless with their in-laws. They may recognize some
uncomfortable commonalities.
Chest
Hair Might Mean You’re More Intelligent
The
hairier the chest the smarter the man, at least according to
one survey that
found nearly half of medical students were considered “very hairy”
compared to 10 percent of the general population. Although the
research is dated, another study found
that a majority of Mensa members had thick chest hair as well. It’s
not completely clear why hairy men seem to be more intelligent on the
whole, and it’s entirely possible that this is a convenient
coincidence — or that hairy men choose to stay in and study,
instead of attending pool parties.
It
Could Always Be Worse
Even
the hairiest men at the beach could’ve been hairier without the
help of evolution, scientists suspect. Although early hominids were
covered in body hair as a way to keep warm, about 3
million years ago that
fur stopped serving that purpose and started put them at risk of
overheating. Thanks to natural selection, humans shed the excess hair
and evolved to sweat instead. So no matter how hairy you are, it
could always be worse — you could always have inherited the chest
of Australopithecus.
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