Saturday, May 10, 2014

New Yorker Parody of the Day


http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/shouts/2014/05/hgtv-was-worried-audience-might-think-benham-brothers-were-gay.html




May 8, 2014
HGTV WAS WORRIED AUDIENCE MIGHT THINK BENHAM BROTHERS WERE GAY
Posted by Sarah Miller

Hours after cancelling a reality show about two brothers running a successful house-flipping business, HGTV revealed that the actual reason for the cancellation had nothing to do with revelations that the brothers, David and Jason Benham, were virulently homophobic.

“We have decided to cancel ‘Flip It Forward’ because David and Jason Benham just look so incredibly gay,” said Chip Fordew, an HGTV spokesperson. “Plus, they look like they’re together. And, by together, I mean that they have sex, trade off turns on the Pec Deck, go to Tulum at Christmas, and are adopting a baby.”

He pointed out that, while the network does have a very popular show called “Property Brothers,” also starring two brothers, it’s different. “They’re more into renovation than sales,” Fordew said. “Also, they don’t look like a gay couple.”

Fordew stressed that HGTV has no issue with featuring gay male couples, and pointed out that many members of the L.G.B.T. community were part of the network’s staff, programming, and audience. The problem with “Flip It Forward,” Fordew said, was one of confusion. “People don’t necessarily watch HGTV shows from beginning to end. They tune in and out while they’re doing other stuff. And we imagined our audience suddenly looking up at the television and being like, ‘Whoa. Those two gay guys are hot. How come they never take their shirts off?’ ‘How come they never drink Negronis during the day?’ ‘How come, when that one broke his arm, he just took Advil and his boyfriend never started screaming at him, “Why didn’t you make them write you a prescription for Fentanyl?!” ’ ‘Also, who are those chicks taking care of their kids for free? And why are they always pregnant?’ ”

There was also the problem of billboards and advertising. “We tested a few,” said Fordew. “Everyone was like, ‘We’re excited about that new show with that hot gay couple who look exactly like each other! When do they take off their shirts?’ ”

Asked about a rumor that the Benham brothers, when called at home and informed that HGTV would not be going forward with their show, began to argue about which of them looked more “more gay,” Fordew declined to comment.

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