Sunday, August 30, 2015

Scorch Trials Trailers

Grab Bag Sunday

Save the Pubes, Bush, Curlies, Grass, Forest, Fur

Guys, It's Time to Stop Shaving Your Junk
by Brian Moylan
from the column ‘Tubesteak’

Young dudes can be forgiven their ignorance because they've always been told what's natural is wrong.

There is nothing more disappointing than taking a new guy home for the first time and ripping his clothes off, only to find that he has "manscaped" himself to look like some sort of dude-shaped topiary. When I bring home a man, I want to see a masculine wreath of pubes around his dick, not a shaved walrus. Tragically, it’s becoming harder and harder to find a guy whose chest stubble won't give you a rug burn or whose bare nutsack doesn’t look like a dismembered turkey waddle. Guys, this has to stop.

The social scientists over at Cosmopolitan recently published a study claiming that 95 percent of men now trim or shave their body hair in one way or another, a practice that has taken on the cringeworthy title of manscaping. I hate it and want it to die. Presumably, many other true lovers of the male form feel the same way. Body hair is one of the secondary sex characteristics of being a man, so why would anyone want to eradicate it altogether?

As much as it pains me to admit it, us gays are probably at fault. During the 90s, the gay aesthetic was dominated by the plucked and preened bodybuilder look. This, of course, spread to advertising (remember the billboard of shirtless Marky Mark in his undies in Times Square?), which seeped into the minds of straight guys and led to razor companies making products for guys who wanted to look like 14-year-old synchronized swimmers. There is also some aspect of female equality in this whole equation. As men began to demand that their ladies be as shiny under their clothes as Barbie dolls, women started expecting the same of their men.

Although shaving off all your pubes started as a gay thing, it’s now primarily straight guys who are doing it. John Marsh, the owner of gay porn site Fratmen, told the Daily Beast that the guys in his videos who get their Bic on south of the border are the straight models, not the gay ones. This has gone from being something that most guys thought of as sissy to something that is thought of as a prerequisite for getting pussy.

I'm here to tell you that it's stupid. Deforestation does not make your junk look bigger, but, honestly, the only person who cares how big it looks is you, when it’s in your own hand and you're jerking it off. I'm not saying no one cares how big it is, but you're the only one who cares how big it looks.

As for the rest of a guy's body, there is no reason why you need to shave, trim, wax, pluck, or Nair for Men that shit. Yeah, you might want to get an overly furry back under control, but just let the rest of it run wild. There is nothing so good as letting someone rub their hand through a Magnum PI-style pelt. If a sex partner doesn't like feeling a nice set of furry thighs rub up against them in the heat of the moment, then they aren't worth the time it took to trick them into your bedroom in the first place. And unless you’re as buff as Mark Wahlberg, getting rid of all that fuzz will just make you look scrawnier, pastier, and sillier. The great thing about having a coat of hair is that it will cover up many imperfections. It's like having natural Photoshop for your body!

Even worse than how prepubescent shaving makes you look is that it makes you complacent in the corporate conspiracy to turn the way we look into a consumer commodity. As I already pointed out, the main reason this disgusting practice is encouraged is because there are now products to sell. Marketing is telling men to shed their Darwinian protection against the elements, and men, stupid sheep that we are, are listening. Stand up and fight! Put down that Philips Norelco BG2040/34 Bodygroom Pro Grooming System and pick up a bit of pride in your masculinity. After all, nothing is more manly than doing what is right, not giving a fuck about anyone else, and sticking it to the man (no matter how gay that sounds).

Luckily the gays and hirsute stars like Jake Gyllenhaal are making Sasquatch a thing of beauty once again. Manhunt, the gay cruising site that your uncle uses, recently did a study that proves most guys who use the internet for quick dick prefer men in their natural states. This means it's only a matter of time before being au naturel is once again the norm. And I, for one, can't wait. I'd much rather pick a little man-floss out of my teeth after going down on a guy than have another goosefleshy nutsack in my face.

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Yeah, it's stupid.

Sometimes painful.

Do you really want this?

So don't do this...

Or you might as well be this...


Saturday PM at little late

Friday, August 28, 2015

Hot Shot of the Evening

Another favorite . . .

Fake Donald Trump Bible Quotes

 It's happ

Twitter is having a field day making up fake Donald Trump Bible quotes

Earlier today, Donald Trump awkwardly dodged a couple questions about the Bible, which he has called "his favorite book." He refused to name a favorite Bible verse, and when asked which Testament he preferred, he answered "Probably equal."
Jokesters on Twitter have started to create fake Trump quotes about the Bible, playing off his mixture of self-promotion and plainspoken language. They're all gathering steam under the hashtag #TrumpBible.
For instance:

There *is* room at the inn but Mary and Joseph refuse to stay there because it is LOW CLASS and a DUMP.

I lost a lot of respect for the Pharaoh. Never should have let the Hebrews go because of, what, hail? The Hebrews love me.

And Moses went to Pharaoh and said to him, "Let my people go!" and Pharaoh did because Moses knew how to negotiate.

Don't get me wrong: Jesus? Great guy, classy. But a terrible executive. I would never tolerate a traitor within my organization.

This Pilate, I dunno; I can't work with him. Wishy-washy. What is truth this, wash my hands that. You're in charge! Make a call!

Jesus turned water into wine. The good stuff. Not that garbage they serve at some places.

And so on ...

Bantz, brain fart, and awesomesauce

Some of these are obviously Brit-speak, some have been around for a while in the U.S., and some I didn't know. "Manspreader" pretty appropriate...


New words added to Oxford dictionary online


Do you know what it means to be 'hangry'? Or what a 'bruh' is?
Prepare to brush up on your vocabulary as a host of new words have been included in an online dictionary.
Hangry, which means to be bad-tempered as a result of hunger, and bruh, a word used to denote a male friend, are just two of more than 1,000 words that have been added in a quarterly update.
Other words include manspreading, when men position their legs wide apart to encroach on adjacent seats when travelling on public transport, rando, a name for an odd unknown person, and fat-shame, which means to mock somebody about their size.
News terms Brexit and Grexit - words used for the United Kingdom’s hypothetical exit from the EU and Greece’s potential exit from the Eurozone - were also included in the dictionary.
Other new words included:
- awesomesauce: extremely good; excellent
- bants (also bantz): playfully teasing or mocking remarks exchanged with another person or group; banter
- beer o'clock: an appropriate time of day for starting to drink beer
- brain fart: a temporary mental lapse or failure to reason correctly
- cakeage: a charge made by a restaurant for serving a cake they have not supplied themselves
cat cafe: a cafe or similar establishment where people pay to interact with cats housed on the premises
- cupcakery: a bakery that specialises in cupcakes
- deradicalisation: the action or process of causing a person with extreme views to adopt more moderate positions on political or social issues
- fatberg: a very large mass of solid waste in a sewerage system, consisting especially of congealed fat and personal hygiene products that have been flushed down toilets
- fur baby: a person's dog, cat, or other furry pet animal
- mkay: non-standard spelling of OK, representing an informal pronunciation (typically used at the end of a statement to invite agreement, approval, or confirmation)
- Mx: a title used before a person's surname or full name by those who wish to avoid specifying their gender or by those who prefer not to identify themselves as male or female
- pocket dial: inadvertently call (someone) on a mobile phone in one's pocket, as a result of pressure being accidentally applied to a button or buttons on the phone
- rage-quit: angrily abandon an activity or pursuit that has become frustrating, especially the playing of a video game
- Redditor: a registered user of the website Reddit
- social justice warrior: a person who expresses or promotes socially progressive views
- snackable: designed to be read, viewed, or otherwise engaged with briefly and easily
- spear phishing: the fraudulent practice of sending emails ostensibly from a known or trusted sender in order to induce targeted individuals to reveal confidential information
- swatting: the action or practice of making a hoax call to the emergency services in an attempt to bring about the dispatch of a large number of armed police officers to a particular address
- weak sauce: something that is of a poor or disappointing standard or quality
- wine o'clock: an appropriate time of day for starting to drink wine
New words enter the online dictionary if editors are certain of their widespread use in English. But they only make it into the Oxford English Dictionary if continued historical use is shown.
“There’s always been new slang words. I just think we are more aware of them because of the ways in which we consume and live our lives now,” said Fiona McPherson, a senior editor of Oxford Dictionaries.
“From my point of view, as a lexicographer, it’s not really about dumbing down, it’s more creative ways that people are using language,” she said.

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Take 'em Off Pic of the Day

Thursday, August 27, 2015

Hot Shot of the Evening

One of my all time favorites. Found out he’s a personal trainer/model named David Rich (who knows if that’s real). I like it because the dude is in great shape but not over-developed, he has those little golden hairs across his pecs, he has a fucking great tan, he’s blond (yeah, I’m a sucker for blonds), great face, what could be a great smile, natural hairy pubes, natural hairy peeking pits, hairy legs, and a nice dick. I'd like it if he had a hairy little belly button and golden treasure trail, but 9 out of 10 ain't bad.