College Guy Realizes Best Friend Might Actually Be His Boyfriend

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3qjrs6/me_22m_with_my_best_friend_22m_i_think_we_might/


OCTOBER 28, 2015

College Guy Realizes Best Friend Might Actually Be His Boyfriend, Doesn’t Know How To Ask

What would you do if you fell in love with your best friend and were too afraid to ask him if the feeling is mutual?

That’s the question one college-aged Redditor is asking after falling in love with his best friend named Ian, who he thinks is actually his boyfriend and no longer just a simple bromance.

“ProbablyGay1” detailed his relationship with Ian in one of the most adorable Reddit posts we have read (check it out below):

This is kind of a weird one.

Ian and I were in the same English class in high school. I assumed he was out of my friend league because he was really handsome-not ripped, just genetically blessed in the facial department-and seemed really smart and cool, so nerdy me assumed that he was super popular.

Ian and I ended up seeing each other a lot. Eventually I decided that it was time to stop being afraid of Ian and try to be friends with him.

About a year after I really started hanging out with Ian, there was a revelatory moment where I realized that I was Ian’s best friend. The whole time I’d known him I’d just assumed that he had a ton of great friends that he didn’t talk about.

I had been so wrong about Ian. Yeah he was quiet, but that was only because he was kind of introverted, and he doesn’t like talking about himself. Also, “too cool” my ass-Ian’s a fucking nerd, just like me. He seen every episode of Pokemon and Digimon AND Yu-Gi-Oh. We would hang out at each other’s houses doing homework and watching cartoons after school a lot.

Flash forward to today. Ian and I attend different colleges, but we talk everyday. Puberty has been kind to me. I’m not on Ian’s level of attractiveness, but I’m pretty confident these days. Lately I’ve been wondering if Ian and I are more than just good friends at this point. Some reasons:

Ian HATES being touched. At first I noticed that he was uncomfortable when I’d touch him so I didn’t. After a while, HE started doing it. When we’re alone, he’ll move next to me and put his head on my shoulder. It’s kind of adorable. Now we’re physical all the time-not sexually, but he’ll lean against me if we’re standing together, or put his arm around my shoulder. 

At first when we slept over one of us would sleep on the floor or couch or something. Now we just share beds. I’ve woken up with his arm around me before. Not gonna lie; my heart did embarrassing things the first time that happened. I woke up before him and just thought about how nice this was, and how lucky I was. He woke up a few minutes later and we looked at each other smiling, and then I said, “Gay.” And we both burst out laughing. 

We go on each other’s family vacations. 

Once he went on a research trip for college. When he came back he told me he identified a new type of thing (I’m being vague, his major is weirdly specific). He said he named it after me. I was kind of floored, and asked him why. He said, “Who else would I name it after?” 

Neither of us have dated anyone recently. Personally, I just haven’t felt inclined. I think maybe it’s because I already feel like I have Ian. I don’t have a gender preference and my friends know this. Ian has always been vague about his orientation. 

We go places alone a lot, like the beach. Once I was having a bad day and he surprised me by showing up my house and knocking on my window. He drove us to the top of a mountain, and we climbed into the back seat and just laid there together for hours. 

While we’re in college, he sends me cute messages. Like “I miss you,” “Something reminded me of you,” etc. I found out from his friends that he talks about me a lot, which is a relief because I talk about him to my friends all the time. We mail each other gifts sometimes. He sends me samples of specimens from his research, like cool rocks or leaves. It sounds dumb, literally receiving rocks and leaves in the mail, but you bet your ass I have a whole shelf devoted to that shit. Honestly, Ian could probably send me a turd that he found scientifically significant and I’d treasure it.

I think about Ian a lot. He’s attractive and smart and funny and overall, probably my favorite person ever. It’s embarrassing how much I like Ian. He can make my whole day by texting me.

As you can see, there are a lot of things that can be explained as things that regular straight best friends do, and other things that . . . can’t. (What, straight bros don’t snuggle?)

I’m graduating college this year (he’s staying to get a higher degree) and I realized it’s the first time I can decide where to live, and I also realized that where I want to live is with him. But I feel like if we’re going to live together, I should finally figure out whether we’re boyfriends. Ian’s pretty reserved, so it looks like I’m going to have to be the brave one here.

tl;dr: My best friend and I have some not-so-platonic behavior. How do I ask him whether we’re boyfriends, or if he wants to be?


One commenter wrote:

Hi there OP, your story reminds me of the time when i hang out with my current girlfriend. (Fyi, I’m a girl too and she’s my first.) We started out exactly like how you guys did and one day we were having a sleepover and I kissed her cheeks. Then she kissed me back and then everything was a blur and then boom she dropped the question and we got together. I would suggest finding a private time to drop the question to him if not, tell him how you feel about him. Great feelings, heart fluttering moments, tell him all that. From what you posted it definitely sounds like he feel the same.


Another left this piece of advice for the confused college boy:

Time for a weekend visit. Hold the hugs a little longer. When you guys are just around and alone hold his hand. Play in his hair if he put his head on your shoulder. Snuggle a bit deeper and longer. Hum contentedly when he puts his arms around you. If you cuddle in bed and all of the above weren’t rejected your face needs to find it’s way to that wonderful spot between neck and shoulder…be a brave soul and drop a kiss there and then wait. There’s nothing about that move that can be confused. Either things will amp up and you can have a discussion or he will ignore it and then you do the same. Or you can find your warrior spirit and just take the plunge. Tell him how you feel. Reassure him he’ll always be your best friend no matter what. See what happens. You guys are too cute and I want to punch you I’m so jealous. Good luck you adorable little bastard.


h/t: reddit