Bacon Scented Underwear?

Can't make it up . . . "If you are hiking in the woods where bears are known to roam, please do not wear Bacon Scented Underwear without also carrying a firearm."

https://baconsalt.3dcartstores.com/Bacon-Scented-Underwear-for-Men_p_214.html

Bacon Scented Underwear for Men 

Item Number B-2015205

Lovers of naughty bits and breakfast rejoice -- introducing Bacon Scented Underwear! Marrying the ultimate in comfort and cured meat,J&D's Bacon Scented Underwear represents the gold standard of meat-scented luxury undergarments. It's like a hot frying pan in your pants.

Science tells us that 45% of Canadians prefer bacon to sex -- and now new generations of Canadians won't have to choose. Because with Bacon Scented Underwear, you won't know where breakfast ends and your lover starts.

Our legal team has advised us to post the following warnings:

• If you have a large dog with razor sharp teeth, please do not fall asleep in J&D's Bacon Scented Underwear.
• J&D's Bacon Scented Underwear is not recommended for people in the following professions: mail carriers, zookeepers, veterinarians, dog catchers and walkers, and circus performers (especially lion tamers).
• If you are hiking in the woods where bears are known to roam, please do not wear Bacon Scented Underwear without also carrying a firearm.

Some notes about caring for your Bacon Scented Underwear:

We've stolen top-secret technology from NASA that allowed us to embed the smell of bacon into the ink of your Bacon Scented Underwear. Thanks NASA!

The smell of bacon will last through multiple wash cycles and wearings - depending on the number of wearings and (ahem) strength of your own scent, your underwear should continue to smell like bacon for up to 6 months or even a year.

When washing Bacon Scented Underwear, use unscented detergent, wash separately in warm water, and air or tumble dry.

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