HEALTH
Here’s What You Need To Know About The Male G-Spot
“Your anus does not have a sexual orientation.”
Casey Gueren
BuzzFeed Staff
Jul. 28, 2016
Here’s What You Need To Know About The Male G-Spot
“Your anus does not have a sexual orientation.”
Casey Gueren
BuzzFeed Staff
Jul. 28, 2016
Welcome to BuzzFeed
Sex Q&A, where you can ask us your awkward, confusing, gross, embarrassing,
or thought-provoking questions, and we’ll provide answers from leading sexual
health experts. Have a question about sex or sexual health? Send it
tosexQs@buzzfeed.com.
This week’s question:
Hi to whoever may
read this.
I’ll identify as a
straight male, mid-twenties. As of late, I’ve been curious about the male G-spot
(butt play), and I got into wearing male thongs. So my questions are: 1) Does
this make me gay?; and 2) How does one stimulate the G-spot? I’ve been reading
about butt plugs and anal vibrators, but do you have any recommendations for
them, or how to start?
Thanks,
Anonymous
Anonymous
Well, you’re definitely not alone. We’ve actually gotten a few questions like this.
To answer it,
we spoke with sex therapists Joe Kort, PhD, author of Is My Husband
Gay, Straight, or Bi?, and Ian Kerner, PhD, founder of GoodInBed.com. Here’s what they had to
say:
First of all, your sexual orientation is not dictated by what you like to do (or wear) in bed.
There is no rule or
checklist out there that determines your sexual orientation by tallying up your
turn-ons, your favorite sex acts, or your underwear preferences. It’s about who you’re sexually attracted to and how you
identify, says Kort, not whatyou’re sexually attracted
to.
“Your anus doesn’t
have a sexual orientation; it just likes pleasure,” says Kort. “There are also
lots of gay men who don’t like anal sex. That doesn’t make them any ‘less
gay.’”
So being curious about prostate stimulation or wearing thongs doesn’t mean you’re gay — it means you’re curious about prostate stimulation or wearing thongs.
Gyro
Photography / Getty Images / Via thinkstockphotos.com
“In no way does
having your prostate stimulated have anything to do with your sexual
orientation,” says Kerner. “All men — regardless of sexual orientation or gender
identity — have prostates.”
Ditto for wearing a
thong. Whatever underwear is comfortable for you and makes you feel confident
and/or turned on throughout the day — wear it! Clothing also does not dictate
your sexual orientation.
OK, so let’s talk about the male G-spot, otherwise known as the prostate.
Cartoon
Network / Via Instagram:
@plannedparenthood
The prostate is a
walnut-sized gland that’s located right in front of the rectum, and it produces
seminal fluid to nourish and protect sperm. Stimulating the prostate — either
alone or in combination with penile stimulation — can really enhance and amplify
orgasms, says Kerner.
“Men who get
comfortable with prostate stimulation are usually really strong converts,” he
says.
There are lots of ways to stimulate your prostate, but the experts suggest starting slow and solo.
Alonsoaguilar / Getty Images / Via thinkstockphotos.com
Just like you
probably got really good at masturbating before you had sex with someone else,
Kerner suggests getting comfortable with this new sensation before trying it
with a partner. Kort also suggests doing some research and reading to learn more
about it first (he suggests Anal Pleasure
and Health by Jack Morin,
PhD).
To start, you’ll
probably just want to explore the area with your fingers. So wash your hands,
trim your fingernails, and get some lube. Then, when you’re masturbating, first
focus on the perineum (the area between the anus and the scrotum, aka your butt
and your balls). Then focus on the anus, then the anal entrance, and finally
(when lubed up), you can insert a finger into the rectum.
Once you’re
comfortable with that sensation, you can try to stimulate your prostate by
reaching up and back with your finger(s), explains Kerner, almost like you’re
trying to reach your belly button.
After that, you might want to try a butt plug or prostate massager.
The sheer number
(and popularity) of sex toys specifically designed for anal pleasure should help
to reassure you that this is a thing lots of people of all sexual orientations are
into.
Kerner
suggests starting with a thin, silicone butt plug, like this
one from Aneros. You can also try a prostate massager, like this
stainless-steel pure
wand from njoy.
There are also some vibrating options from Lelo, like the Loki
Wave, which actually makes a “come here”
motion when you turn it on.
There are
obviously lots of different options, so spend some time looking around and
reading reviews if you’re not sure what you want. And be prepared to spend a
little more for a really good-quality toy. As Kerner says, “They’re a little more expensive, but hey, you’re
putting this up your butt.”
And definitely, definitely do not forget lube.
So much lube. The
rectum doesn’t lubricate on its own, so you’re going to need some help to make
it really comfortable and pleasurable.
Just make sure to
use only water-based lubes with silicone sex toys, says Kerner, since a silicone
lube will cause them to break down.
Also, give yourself a big pat on the back for being open to experimenting with different sex acts and taking some steps to find out more.
“I like that
they’re writing in about this, because who else do you go to to talk about
this?” says Kort.
Of course, if
you’re having more questions about your sexuality or you’re having trouble
accepting your sexual interests, it could be worth finding a sex-positive
therapist to talk to. You can look for sex therapists in your area by going to
theAmerican
Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists
(AASECT)website.
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