Best Practices for Sexual Health

Common sense and maybe a few surprises. . .

http://www.healthcentral.com/author/the-healthcentral-editorial-team

Eat a healthy diet
You are what you eat. What’s on your plate can affect your performance in the bedroom. By eating healthy foods that are rich in nutrients and low in fats, you will keep your “sexual” system in good working order. Strive for a balanced diet with plenty of fruits and vegetables, lean cuts of meat, whole grains, and low-fat milk.


Exercise on a regular basis
Here’s another great reason to hit the gym: Men who aren’t active may find themselves with sexual problems. Exercise increases confidence and libido. Check with your physician before starting a program of regular cardio and strength training.

Stop smoking
Many doctors agree that smoking is a significant cause of sexual dysfunction in men. Studies have found that a majority of men who suffer from erectile dysfunction are smokers. Smoking can also reduce sperm count and quality. It damages the small arteries that send blood to the penis, making it difficult at times to maintain an erection.

Learn how to manage stress
Stress can lead to sexual problems. It leaves you feeling exhausted, worried, uptight, and nervous. If you allow stress to manage your life, it will feel out of control. Learn stress management techniques like deep breathing and meditation. Find ways to handle anger and sadness. You’ll soon see the benefits of relaxation in the bedroom.


Do kegel exercises
No, kegels aren’t just for women. Kegel exercises strengthen the muscles that connect the base of the penis with the tail bone. These muscles act to control the flow of fluids through the urethra. Through kegels, you learn how to delay ejaculation to heighten orgasms. To locate the muscles, try stopping the flow of urine. These are the muscles you need to tighten. Squeeze the muscles, hold for a few seconds, then relax.

Use lubricants
Lubricants can help gain a freer range of motion and increase sexual enjoyment. Did you know there are many different types of lubricants for different purposes? Lubricants can also help prevent tears that increase the risk of infection.



Get a check-up every year
It’s no secret that many men don’t like going to the doctor, but if you want to maintain your health, you should have a physical checkup at least once a year. Your doctor will be able to answer any questions you have. If you’re sleeping with more than partner or if you start sleeping with a new partner, it’s important to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

And as we know from Big Whack Attack, check your balls every day!


Drink less alcohol
It’s true: Bottoms up may keep it down. The more you drink, the more at risk you are for erectile dysfunction. Alcohol may make you feel sexier by lowering inhibition, but it also reduces libido, causes erectile problems, and can make it harder to orgasm.

Don't do illegal drugs
Some men take illegal drugs (or legal in some states) to get high, thinking that it will enhance their sexual experience. However, in most causes drugs have the opposite effect. To avoid erectile dysfunction, don’t do drugs. Some prescription drugs also can cause issues, so be aware of those as well.

Maintain a positive attitude
Medical studies show that men who have a positive attitude toward life also have a better sex life. So why not smile and try to keep your spirits up?


There are a variety of factors that contribute to a man’s libido, some with the ability to boost a man’s sexual potential. But which nutrients are the most important for keeping the sex drive alive? Here are foods that can help, according to scientific studies.


Protein
Protein is a key substance needed to produce testosterone in men. Researchers from the University of Massachusetts Medical School found that many vegetarians consume a low protein diet, leading to sexual problems later in life. Low protein diets were found to increase sex hormone-binding globulin in older men, which sticks to testosterone, making it unavailable for use by the body.

Zinc
Zinc deficiency is linked to hypogonadism in men, a condition in which the sex glands produce little or no hormones. Researchers found that zinc can also play an important role in helping to regulate testosterone levels. Ultimately, zinc supplementation was linked to dramatic increases in testosterone in zinc-deficient young men and “significant” increases in elderly men with moderate zinc deficiency.

Fiber
Consuming fiber keeps things moving in a man’s system, so to speak. But fiber is also associated with sex hormone-binding globulin, like protein. Consuming a sufficient amount of fiber reduces the amount of globulin that binds to testosterone, leaving more of the sex hormone for the body to use for sexual activity. Fiber can also help control your weight, helpful because an expanded waistline could inhibit sexual performance.

Vitamin C
In research from the Dubai Specialized Medical Center and Research Labs, vitamin C supplements were found to increase semen quality. Among infertile men, sperm count was increased significantly after taking vitamin C for two months. Though the study used vitamin C supplements, you can find the vitaminin citrus fruits, berries, watermelon, green and red peppers, tomatoes, potatoes, and spinach, among others.

Magnesium
According to research from the University of Parma, magnesium intake affects the total amount of testosterone activity in the body, especially among older men. The study found that, in addition to being positively associated with testosterone in the body, magnesium acts as a modulator during the disruptive aging process; magnesium can help hold off the aging process, which can help a man stay youthful in terms of sexual performance.

L-arginine
L-arginine is an amino acid that helps with heart health, chest pain, high blood pressure, and migraine headaches, among other uses. Oh, and it is also used as a natural treatment for erectile dysfunction and male infertility. In the body, l-arginine is converted into nitric oxide, which opens up blood vessels for improved blood flow. It’s found in dairy products, red meat, poultry, and fish.

Negative: Soy
A case study published in the journal Nutrition found that a man with type 1 diabetes who had low testosterone regained full sexual functionality after cessation of his soy-rich vegan diet. That said, soy isn’t all bad, as it has been associated with a lower risk of cardiovascular disease and risks of some cancers. Soy is hidden in many processed foods so read labels to make sure you limit your overall intake of soy.

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Understanding Sexual Health

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joe-kort-phd/how-sexual-addiction-trea_b_8683926.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices


How Sexual Addiction Treatment Fails When Working With Gay and Bisexual Men
Joe Kort, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist, certified sex therapist, and relationship therapist at Joe Kort & Associates, PC
www.joekort.com
Posted: 12/02/2015

I thought I was done with the coming-out process, but I am coming out again, only this time on Psychology Today as a former sex-addiction therapist. Today I treat those struggling with out-of-control sexual behaviors much differently and more successfully with my current education and understanding about what sexual health is, and tailor it to each individual. 

The reason? The longer I was in the field of sex addiction treatment the more I found both the label and many of the interventions antiquated, limiting and sometimes even harmful -- especially when working with gay and bisexual men. Sex addiction treatment began to reveal itself to me as simplistic, moralistic and judgmental rather than truly diagnostic. The more I learned, the more I saw a number of problems embedded in the interventions within the model -- negative messages of shame, erotophobia and homophobia -- which were inextricably entwined in the treatment. Over the last 10 years I have become an AASECT (American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists) certified sex therapist and supervisor, and have learned a great deal more about helping people with problematic sexual behaviors from an informed sexual-health model, which is lacking in the sexual addiction field.

Sex Addict or Homosexual?

I know of clients telling their therapist, "I would rather be a sex addict than a homosexual." Some sex addiction therapists, especially those who have a religious influence to their work, admittedly believe that homosexuality is not an "authentic" identity, particularly for those who do not want it. Calling such sexual interests a "same-sex attraction" and an "acting out" of the client's sexual addiction, these therapists then treat the client as a sex addict, and send him to Sexaholics Anonymous, which is overtly anti-gay. This type of sex-addiction treatment becomes, at times, the new "reparative therapy," which is widely considered unethical and, in some states, illegal. It might be coming from a well intended therapist, however it is still treating same-sex attractions as pathology rather than exploring the various ways sexual orientation can manifest, or helping gay or bisexual men come out of their shame into their true sexual identity.

It implies that being sick and a sex addict is better than being a gay or bisexual man. I have had clients who are clearly homosexual, but because of their culture -- such as Arab or Indian -- they cannot come out and never will. I will never tell them that they are sex addicts or can change from gay to straight, or that they should manage their feelings because they are sick. Instead I help them to accept that they are homosexual, but don't have to embrace the "gay lifestyle" or a gay identity -- only if this is what they choose. This supports a position of sexual strength and health rather than pathology or sickness and keeping them ashamed.

Sex Addiction Treatment Should Not Endorse Sexaholics Anonymous

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA) remains on all the national sex-addiction websites as a resource, ultimately endorsing the program. SA is one of a number of 12-step fellowships dealing with recovery from compulsive sexual thinking and behavior, and it views LGBTQ behavior and relationship as pathological, unhealthy and not a true identity. It believes that sex should only be in the context of a marriage, which it defines as "one man and one woman." While other fellowships may make no distinction between same-sex and opposite-sex behavior, SA explicitly defines sexual sobriety to exclude same-sex behavior. 

Listing SA as a resource is not in keeping with values for an LGBTQ-affirmative sexual health affirmative therapy. It also in not in keeping with the values of any professional mental health organization such as National Association of Social Workers, American Psychiatric Association, or American Psychological Association, to name a few. It also goes against current scientific and professional views of human sexuality.

Because the label "sex addiction" contains the word "sex," understanding and training is required for cultural competency of the various manifestations of the sexual and relationship lives of LGBTQ, and how we differ from our heterosexual counterparts. Currently it is glaringly lacking.

How I Became a Sex Addiction Therapist

I became a sex addiction therapist in the late 1980s. At the time, it seemed like a hopeful means to deal with out-of-control behaviors, especially in the gay male community. The specter of AIDS had descended on the gay community, and AIDS was considered in the broader culture to be divine judgment on gay sexuality. Gay men grew increasingly ashamed of their unbridled desires (the '70s had seen an explosion of open sexuality in the gay community), and terrified that they would contract the disease, God's punishment for their actions. I was one of them, and was grateful for the hope I could change my behavior.

Anything that didn't involve heterosexual, normative, monogamous sexuality was seen as behavior having the potential to contract and spread HIV. Blame was falling on anyone having promiscuous sex outside of a committed and married relationship. Not surprisingly, numerous 12-step programs, like Sexaholics Anonymous, sprang up to help those who sought to change their behavior. Sex-addiction therapy became the go-to means to address the fears, and we frequently referred our clients to such groups.

However, gay men soon found that they were in the minority in these sex addiction settings, and were expected to think and act like their heterosexual counterparts -- for instance having only monogamous relationships and taking time before having sex. Meeting someone and and having sex right away was common in the gay community. Such behavior was -- and still is -- labeled as a pathological and as a "courting disorder." In the gay community it is also common to have open relationships, which is frowned upon by too many sex addiction therapists. BDSM and fantasy sex is quite open and normalized in the gay community, and yet sex addiction therapy targets those behaviors as problematic. What straight couples fight about around sexuality, gay male couples don't. Thus sexual addiction lacks cultural competency on LGBTQ sexual behaviors and pathologizes non-heteronormative sexuality in general.

From Sexual Despair to Sexual Health

Referring a gay or bisexual client to Sexaholics Anonymous as part of a treatment plan is irresponsible and will only contribute to more despair. He is at risk for aligning himself with internalized homophobia by sitting in a room filled with rules and individuals believing that gay sex and gay relationships are wrong.

Instead, I refer gay and bisexual men to Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (SCA). This 12-step group was started by gay and bisexual men who needed a safe, judgment-free space to address their out-of-control sexual behaviors. On their national site they state, "SCA is a 12-Step fellowship, inclusive of all sexual orientations, open to anyone with a desire to recover from sexual compulsion."

Clients come into therapy with many issues around sex. We need to help them manage their issues through the lens of appreciating this as part of themselves. It is important to see the distinctions between sexual health versus out-of-control behaviors. For example, understood in the context of the gay culture, when a gay man first comes out he often experiences a period of hypersexuality -- a delayed gay adolescence, which is completely normal. It is inaccurate to label him a sex addict as he would be labeled in the SA model. Many straight men enjoy watching gay porn, and this speaks to the sexual fluidity of many straight men. Without a therapist understanding sexuality it can be easy to pathologize such behavior.

I am now revising an entire chapter I wrote on sexual addiction in my first book, 10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Improve Their Lives. I am removing references to sex addiction treatment, and changing it to help gay men understand their sexual lives and problems from a strength-based, informed position. In my revisions I am referring more to the model and book, Treating Out of Control Sexual Behaviors: Rethinking Sex Addiction, by Doug Harvey-Braun and Michael Vigorito, focusing on the treatment of men struggling with problematic sexual behaviors, and using a strength-based and sex-positive approach.