“Your anus does not have a sexual orientation”

https://www.buzzfeed.com/caseygueren/so-youre-a-straight-guy-who-wants-to-try-butt-stuff?utm_term=.pq2nNn9P5#.ud0lplBbQ

HEALTH
Here’s What You Need To Know About The Male G-Spot

“Your anus does not have a sexual orientation.”


Casey Gueren
BuzzFeed Staff
Jul. 28, 2016

Welcome to BuzzFeed Sex Q&A, where you can ask us your awkward, confusing, gross, embarrassing, or thought-provoking questions, and we’ll provide answers from leading sexual health experts. Have a question about sex or sexual health? Send it tosexQs@buzzfeed.com.

This week’s question:

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Hi to whoever may read this.

I’ll identify as a straight male, mid-twenties. As of late, I’ve been curious about the male G-spot (butt play), and I got into wearing male thongs. So my questions are: 1) Does this make me gay?; and 2) How does one stimulate the G-spot? I’ve been reading about butt plugs and anal vibrators, but do you have any recommendations for them, or how to start?

Thanks,
Anonymous 

Well, you’re definitely not alone. We’ve actually gotten a few questions like this.

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To answer it, we spoke with sex therapists Joe Kort, PhD, author of Is My Husband Gay, Straight, or Bi?, and Ian Kerner, PhD, founder of GoodInBed.com. Here’s what they had to say:

First of all, your sexual orientation is not dictated by what you like to do (or wear) in bed.

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There is no rule or checklist out there that determines your sexual orientation by tallying up your turn-ons, your favorite sex acts, or your underwear preferences. It’s about who you’re sexually attracted to and how you identify, says Kort, not whatyou’re sexually attracted to.

“Your anus doesn’t have a sexual orientation; it just likes pleasure,” says Kort. “There are also lots of gay men who don’t like anal sex. That doesn’t make them any ‘less gay.’”

So being curious about prostate stimulation or wearing thongs doesn’t mean you’re gay — it means you’re curious about prostate stimulation or wearing thongs.

Gyro Photography / Getty Images / Via thinkstockphotos.com

“In no way does having your prostate stimulated have anything to do with your sexual orientation,” says Kerner. “All men — regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity — have prostates.”

Ditto for wearing a thong. Whatever underwear is comfortable for you and makes you feel confident and/or turned on throughout the day — wear it! Clothing also does not dictate your sexual orientation.

OK, so let’s talk about the male G-spot, otherwise known as the prostate.

Cartoon Network / Via Instagram: @plannedparenthood

The prostate is a walnut-sized gland that’s located right in front of the rectum, and it produces seminal fluid to nourish and protect sperm. Stimulating the prostate — either alone or in combination with penile stimulation — can really enhance and amplify orgasms, says Kerner.

“Men who get comfortable with prostate stimulation are usually really strong converts,” he says.

There are lots of ways to stimulate your prostate, but the experts suggest starting slow and solo.

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Just like you probably got really good at masturbating before you had sex with someone else, Kerner suggests getting comfortable with this new sensation before trying it with a partner. Kort also suggests doing some research and reading to learn more about it first (he suggests Anal Pleasure and Health by Jack Morin, PhD).

To start, you’ll probably just want to explore the area with your fingers. So wash your hands, trim your fingernails, and get some lube. Then, when you’re masturbating, first focus on the perineum (the area between the anus and the scrotum, aka your butt and your balls). Then focus on the anus, then the anal entrance, and finally (when lubed up), you can insert a finger into the rectum.

Once you’re comfortable with that sensation, you can try to stimulate your prostate by reaching up and back with your finger(s), explains Kerner, almost like you’re trying to reach your belly button.

After that, you might want to try a butt plug or prostate massager.

Instagram: @museumofsex / Via instagram.com

The sheer number (and popularity) of sex toys specifically designed for anal pleasure should help to reassure you that this is a thing lots of people of all sexual orientations are into.

Kerner suggests starting with a thin, silicone butt plug, like this one from Aneros. You can also try a prostate massager, like this stainless-steel pure wand from njoy. There are also some vibrating options from Lelo, like the Loki Wave, which actually makes a “come here” motion when you turn it on.

There are obviously lots of different options, so spend some time looking around and reading reviews if you’re not sure what you want. And be prepared to spend a little more for a really good-quality toy. As Kerner says, “They’re a little more expensive, but hey, you’re putting this up your butt.”

And definitely, definitely do not forget lube.

Instagram: @museumofsex / Via instagram.com

So much lube. The rectum doesn’t lubricate on its own, so you’re going to need some help to make it really comfortable and pleasurable.

Just make sure to use only water-based lubes with silicone sex toys, says Kerner, since a silicone lube will cause them to break down.

Also, give yourself a big pat on the back for being open to experimenting with different sex acts and taking some steps to find out more.

Instagram: @ninalasvegas / Via instagram.com

“I like that they’re writing in about this, because who else do you go to to talk about this?” says Kort.

Of course, if you’re having more questions about your sexuality or you’re having trouble accepting your sexual interests, it could be worth finding a sex-positive therapist to talk to. You can look for sex therapists in your area by going to theAmerican Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT)website.

Grab Bag Sunday

Saturday PM

A Little Preppy Foreplay

Preppies are obnoxious almost by definition. Some are assholes. But some are cute as fuck, which is what I like to do to their tight preppy butts!

Sack Tapping?

We used to call it Squirrel. Not a good thing . . .

http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-sack-tapping.htm#


Sack tapping is a form of sexual harassment in which a boy or a group of boys will tap, punch, or hit another boy’s scrotum, or the “sack.” Typically this is done with the back of the hand, hitting the scrotum with a quick flick of the wrist. While sack tapping is usually thought of as a game by the boys who practice it, it is actually a form of bullying that can have serious consequences. Hitting the testes can cause severe immediate pain and can, in serious cases, lead to rupture of the testicles.

The scrotum is a sack of skin and muscle that surrounds and protects the testicles, where sperm is produced. It keeps the testicles at a slightly decreased temperature from the rest of the body to encourage the survival of the sperm. The scrotum has high pain sensitivity so that a man will avoid and be immediately aware of any injury to the groin. The many nerve endings in the scrotum lead upwards into the abdomen, which is why men experience pain in their bellies as well their scrotums when they are hit in the groin.

Sack tapping may be a consensual game played, stereotypically, by boys on an athletic team or a group of friends, but it can also be a form of bullying. Oftentimes it has consequences no more serious than immediate pain that subsides fairly quickly. In some cases however, the injury may cause complications that require surgery and have lasting physical and emotional effects on the victim. In the worst cases, when there is a truly excessive amount of force, the testicle may be ruptured, necessitating amputation of the impacted testicle.

In 2010, a Minnesota teenager named David Gibbons was the victim of an aggressive assault of sack tapping at school. Hours later, it became apparent that Gibbons’ testicle had ruptured and that it would need to be amputated. The incident brought national press to what was looked upon as a harmful new fad in schools.

The newness and dangerousness of sack tapping as a trend has been contested by several journalists. Some have claimed that the game has existed for decades and that calling it a new trend is a creation of the media. Though there are instances, especially in the cases of attack versus a consensual activity, where sack tapping clearly has dire consequences, some contend that sack tapping as a game does not have much medical importance. Still, parents are urged to talk with their children about sack tapping, telling kids that it is an inappropriate and potentially harmful activity that constitutes harassment, not play.

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