Looking forward to the end of labels

Some people adopt labels because it gives them a sense of belonging to a group with whom they feel an affirmative affiliation. Which is perfectly okay if it's what you want. Some people use labels to demean others and make themselves feel superior. Which is not okay even if it is what you want. (No, there were not "some very fine people on both sides.")

I'm looking forward to the day when labels, especially regarding sexuality, will be obsolete because everyone will be accepted as a unique individual, without the urge to put one another into categories as though we're God -- if God were a 19th century German scientist. And it seems more and more people are beginning to see the light. For example . . . “Not everybody who has same-sex relationships is secretly gay.” Why should anyone be made to feel their sexuality needs to be a secret, regardless of what it is?


Loads of straight people are having same-sex sex

http://metro.co.uk/2018/04/23/loads-straight-people-sex-sex-7490872/

Rebecca Reid
23 Apr 2018

If you’ve ever had a same-sex experience, but consider yourself to be straight, then you’re not alone.

In fact, you’re in good company. According to research released in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, 25% of women who’ve had same-sex sexual experiences consider themselves to be straight.

The research examined just over 24,000 undergraduate students, and of that 24,000, a quarter of women and 1 in 8.5 men, have had sexual experiences with people of their own gender, but don’t consider themselves to be gay or bi.

The study’s co-author, Arielle Kuperberg, explained that same-sex experiences don’t ‘make’ you homosexual, saying: ‘Not everybody who has same-sex relationships is secretly gay,” says co-author Arielle Kuperberg, Ph.D., director of Undergraduate Studies in Sociology at The University of North Carolina at Greensboro, who has written extensively on student relationships. “There was a big disconnect between what people said their sexual orientation was and what their actions were.’

So, if it’s not because you’re gay, why would you hook up with someone of your own gender?

The study found that there are two main reasons: experimentation and performance.

Experimentation occurs when people – especially young people – want to try something new. Even if they enjoy the experience, they don’t consider it to have changed their sexual identity.

So called ‘performative bisexuality’ happens when people (usually women) enjoy sexual contact with other women because of the attention that it garners and the arousal that it provokes in others.* It’s more about reaction than the actual act, which is why people who experiment with performative bisexuality don’t usually consider themselves to be genuinely gay or bi.

The great thing about your sexual orientation is that you get to pick how you label it, if you label it at all. There’s no obligation to define yourself in a specific way if you don’t want to, and no-one else can tell you which title is the ‘right’ fit for your sexuality.

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* Specious at best, IMO. Here's a link to the study in question...

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2Fs10508-018-1194-7