How do I miss these things?!

Myth-busting and celebrating bisexuality on Bi Visibility Day

People are sharing their coming out stories, dispelling misconceptions and highlighting the struggles still faced by those who identify as bisexual.

https://twitter.com/i/moments/1043677764736311299?cn=ZmxleGlibGVfcmVjcw%3D%3D&refsrc=email

#BiVisibilityDay SOME FACTS: - we're not greedy - we don't have to 'pick a side' - we aren't half gay/half straight - being in a straight relationship doesn't make us less/not bi - we aren't more likely to cheat on you - we're not pansexual - we're valid - we're real

6:38 PM - 22 Sep 2018

Why are so many bisexual men still in the closet?

https://www.shortlist.com/news/opinion/bi-visibility-day-bi-men-in-the-closet/372093

Bisexual.org

“I do not in the least underestimate bisexuality. . . I expect it to provide all further enlightenment.” – Sigmund Freud.

Welcome to Bisexual.org!

Bisexual.org is a project meant to introduce our community to the world. With this site, we hope to give a voice to the bisexual community, share accurate information, answer questions, and provide resources to learn more. The Faces of Bisexuality page introduces visitors to bisexuals from around the world who share their own stories and chime in with answers to frequently asked questions. We hope this site will be a valuable resource for your investigation of bisexuality, whether you are here to better understand your own sexuality, you are here to better understand a loved one, or you simply wish to learn.

This site will grow and evolve over the years ahead. Please join us and help us discover the full potential of this site by submitting questions, sharing your own story, correcting mistakes, or providing feedback. We cannot make this journey without you.

Bisexual.org is a project of The American Institute of Bisexuality (AIB) and the Bisexual Foundation. We are a 501(c)(3) public charity that supports and sponsors projects likely to promote understanding and visibility about bisexuality through education, research, training, and media outreach. The American Institute of Bisexuality raises awareness about the diversity of sexual orientation. The AIB is dedicated to the support of the bisexual community and the education of the public at large about the bisexual community.

Connect with us on Facebook, Twitter or Google+ to get updates on famous bisexuals, news, and frequently asked questions.

https://bisexual.org/blog/

RESEARCHERS NEED TO ACKNOWLEDGE BI MEN’S UNIQUE NEEDS

I’m a factual man and coming in to my bisexuality I wanted to know the hard statistics; how likely is it that I’ll end up with a man or a woman? How likely is it that I’ll suffer depression? How likely is it that I’ll catch an STI?

From my endless Googling, I realised one disturbing trend: hardly any research differentiated between gay and bisexual men. 

The truth is bisexuality is hardly ever specifically examined, and if we bis do get a shout out we are looked at under the same scope as gay men. In short, bi people are just cannon fodder unworthy of the time or money to have research specifically looking at our issues.

The most disturbing thing about all this is that a lot of this research comes from LGBT groups and official health organisations. If LGBT groups don’t see the difference between gay and bi men, then what is the point of them? If they think that it is ethical and helpful to look at the subgroups through the same lens, what effect will this approach have on the people they are supposed to be protecting? 

From looking at the findings, I was appalled. What are young bi people realistically supposed to learn from the research they are putting out? 

Here are some of the headlines generated from the research that I’m encouraged to take note of as a bi man:

Young gay and bisexual men more likely to attempt suicide – The London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine (LSHTM) and Stonewall 

Why it’s unhelpful: Am I just as likely to attempt suicide as a gay person or is there a difference? Are gay men suicidal because people keep telling their partner that their relationship is a phase too? The truth is other than having sex with men, gay and bisexual men don’t actually have much in common. Not only am I subjected to biphobia but I’m also subjected to homophobia when I date men. How pushed for time was Stonewall that they didn’t realize gay and bisexual men may be facing different challenges.

STIs in gay and bisexual men on the rise – Public Health England (PHE) 

Why it’s unhelpful: Gay men only have sex with men, whereas bi men have sex with both men and women. How can you not assess these two sexualities separately when looking at SEXUALLY transmitted diseases? Should I interpret this as discreet homophobia? What you’re basically telling the bi people here is men on men sex is risky, so stick to women. 

Warnings as HIV infections among gay and bisexual men reach record high – Public Health England 

Why it’s stupid: Again: the sex lives of gay and bi men are completely different! No wonder HIV is at a record high when public health bodies continue to believe that gay and bi men have identical sexual encounters.

A Third of gay and bisexual men took illegal drugs last year – Crime Survey of England and Wales has found.

Why it’s unhelpful: Let’s just glide right on past people being more likely to break the law because of their sexuality, how is this actually supposed to help me as a bi person? Are the gays a bad influence on us? Or are we a bad influence on them? Do you have to be high to have sex with a man? 

47% of gay and bisexual men admit to bareback sex – New York’s Community Healthcare Network (CHN) 

Why it’s unhelpful: What’s a bi guy supposed to understand from this? Is it just men that are having unprotected sex with men or is it women as well? Are bi guys more likely to use a condom with one or the other?  How can researchers continue to generalize with regard to two groups with completely different sex lives?

The truth is, all of this research is commissioned to benefit gay men. Don’t get me wrong. I’m certainly not suggesting that bi issues are more important than gay issues, simply that they are different issues that both deserve the same amount of respect. The problem is when LGBT groups and health organisations keep adding ‘and bisexual’ to the mix to try and pass themselves off as inclusive.

This is dangerous. If LGBT and health organisations are failing to tell the difference between gay and bisexual men, they are failing one of the very subgroups they are sworn to protect. 

What’s more, bi people are a far bigger percentage of the population than gay people. (YouGov: Out of British 18-24 year olds 6% Identify as gay and 43% as not gay or straight- 2015.). If this entire population is being ignored, what are we missing? What issues aren’t coming to light? If we don’t know about the problems facing bi people, we can’t hope to solve them. 

The truth is: other than having sex with men, gay and bi guys don’t have much in common. The discrimination we face is different. There’s whole host issues that don’t correlate to the issues gay men face. 

Although the American Institute of Bisexuality (AIB) has recently been financing studies about bisexuality, it is unacceptable that so many LGBT groups completely ignore the ‘B’ in LGBT. I hope that in the future, LGBT organisations and health bodies come to realise that there is a difference between gay and bisexual men. I hope that researchers will understand that lumping them in together to create shocking statistics is not only lazy and unethical but it is also dangerous!

 # # #

BiWeek 2016

WHAT IS BISEXUALITY?

Leading bi advocate and author Robyn Ochs defines bisexuality as "the potential to be attracted – romantically and/or sexually – to people of more than one sex and/or gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree.”

Some people who have the capacity to be attracted to people of any gender choose other words to describe their sexual orientation, such as: bisexual, pansexual, polysexual, omnisexual, fluid, or queer. Some people prefer to avoid any label at all.

http://www.glaad.org/action/celebrate-bisexuality-biweek-2016

#BiWeek 2016: Celebrate Bisexuality

Co-founded by GLAAD, Bisexual Awareness Week seeks to accelerate acceptance of the bi+ community. #BiWeek draws attention to the public policy concerns, while also celebrating the resiliency of, the bisexual community.

Throughout #BiWeek, allies and bi+ people learn about the history, culture, community and current policy priorities of bi+ communities. You can view this information in Spanish, too.

On September 23, GLAAD, BiNet USA, and other LGBT and bisexual advocacy organizations invite you to participate in the 18th annual Celebrate Bisexuality Day, an event promoting bi+ visibility.

1. Spread the word:

Tweet about #BiWeek to show your support:

Follow
GLAAD
✔@glaad 

#BiWeek 2016 is right around the corner. See how you can get involved this year: http://glaad.org/biweek2016
5:36 PM - 7 Sep 2016

2. Attend an event
GLAAD will be hosting a panel on bisexual representation in the media and its impact on acceptance and equality. Featuring bi+ media experts and advocates with diverse experiences, the event is being held at GLAAD in NYC. GLAAD's "Bi+ Representation in The Media: A #BiWeek Panel Discussion" will be moderated by Mathew Rodriguez (Mic), and will include bi+ media experts Alex Berg, (Producer, HuffPost Video), Eliel Cruz (Executive Director, Faith in America; YouTuber; journalist), Bryan Ellicott (trans* & bi advocate; brought lawsuit against NYC for anti-trans discrimination; BiNet USA board member), Ashley C. Ford (Matter Studios, Authorized, BuzzFeed, ELLE), and Denarii Monroe (Black Girl Dangerous, Everyday Feminism, Ravishly).

Be sure to RSVP and get event details here.


3. Watch & share GLAAD's #BiWeek videos and graphics
GLAAD's #BiWeek videos raise awareness about important issues in the bi+ community by spotlighting bi+ people telling their stories.


4. Check out GLAAD's blog
GLAAD will be blogging about the bi+ community all week, so check back each day for guest posts and more. Share the posts through your own social media to show the bi+ community you've got their back!

See original photos from the 2015 White House Bisexual Community Policy Briefing and read about GLAAD's experience at the impactful event.


5. Share GLAAD's bisexual resource guide with your local media

GLAAD's resource guide, created in partnership with BiNet USA, the Bisexual Organizing Project, and the Bisexual Resource Center, equips journalists and media experts to accurately and effectively report on the bisexual community, its experiences, and the important issues bi+ people face. Send the guide to the local media outlets and professionals in your area and ask them to cover #BiWeek. The guide features story ideas, pitfalls to avoid, terms and definitions, and more.


Resources for Media

IN FOCUS: Reporting on the Bisexual Community - A resource for journalists and media professionals

GLAAD Media Reference Guide
About the Bisexual Community

Bisexual people have always been a driving force in the LGBT community and are leaders within local, regional, and national organizations and issue-based campaigns. Every day, bi people work side by side with the larger LGBT community to affect change and equality.

Some people who are attracted to people of any gender self-identify with words such as 'bisexual,' 'pansexual,' 'polysexual,' 'omnisexual,' 'fluid,' 'queer,' or other terminology.

Find more at glaad.org/bisexual.

New recognition of bisexuality

Bisexual people have their own unique history, but it often gets grouped together with other sexual identities, like that of gays and lesbians.


But in honor of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) History month, HuffPost Live spoke with Faith Cheltenham, the president of BiNet USA, and Dr. Herukhuti, a clinical sociologist and the founder of the Center for Culture, Sexuality and Spirituality, to discuss early depictions of bisexuals in ancient Egypt, notable pioneers in the 20th century and the role bisexuals played in key movements like the 1969 Stonewall riots.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/bisexual-history_56264ee3e4b02f6a900dd47b?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices

Bisexual

http://www.towleroad.com/2015/09/bisexual-visibility-week/

Bisexual Visibility Week May Be Over, But Gay Mens’ Responsibilities Aren’t

by Charles Pulliam-Moore
September 29, 2015

Bad graphic but what the hell...

Now that Bisexual Visibility Week has drawn to a close, it feels like an appropriate time to talk about that role that we (gay men) play in maintaining a culture that makes it difficult to come out as bisexual.

For many gay men, the appeal of dating or hooking up with a bi guy is similar to the reason we fetishize straight men. As men who sleep with women, bi guys exist in a cultural space that says that they must be inherently more masculine by virtue of their sexual desires. Because masculinity is (largely) the most valuable form of social currency in the gay male social scene, we often think of bisexual men as being just shy of the straight platonic ideal of masculinity.

Unlike straight men who: a.) aren’t interested in other men and b.) probably wouldn’t be very good at the whole gay sex thing, bisexual men are made out to be the perfect objects of gay male sexual desire. Masc enough to pass and masc enough to handle whatever sort of carnal obstacles another man may throw his way. All of these ideas make excellent fodder for tortured, queer indie films or the occasional masturbatory daydream, but in practice, they limit the different sort of niches that we allow bi-identified guys to fit into both in our personal lives and the larger queer community.

Last year, Dan Savage picked up a piece that I’d written about the idea that bisexuality as we commonly think of it is more complicated than simply being physically or emotionally attracted to both genders. Often, we assume that all bi folks are bi-sexual (sexually interested in members of both sex) and bi-amourous ( interested in building romantic connections with members of both sexes) at the same “level.”

It’s a common enough story that we’re all familiar with the beats: You hook up with a guy who tells you he’s bi and after a few weeks of “dating,” when you try to take things to the next level, he breaks it to you that he doesn’t see a relationship with another man for himself. The immediate assumption is that you’ve been led on and that this self-proclaimed bisexual is probably just a gay guy too chicken s–t to own up to being gay.

That incorrect assumption, I argued, is where a lot of the hostility from within the gay and lesbian community toward bisexual people actually comes from. While same-sex sexual encounters may come naturally for some men, romantic interactions between those same men and other guys may not be nearly as instinctive.

When I first wrote about bi-sexuality and bi-amourousness, I put most of the onus on the bi guys in question to be introspective about their desires and strive to be as upfront with their partners as possible about their intentions. In retrospect though, there’s a lot that we, gay men, can be doing to make queer spaces more welcoming to bi guys.

In the same way that bisexual men (and their potential partners) need to work on being more honest, thoughtful, and transparent about their intentions concerning one another, gay men could stand to be a bit more open minded in our conceptualizations of bisexuality.

When we talk about bi-invisibility, we’re usually talking about the ways in which we deny the validity of their identities. We say that bisexuality isn’t real or that it’s just a phase, but there are other, more subtle ways that we participate in bi-erasure and exclusion, particularly when it comes to men.

The “positive” stereotypes that we project onto bisexual men can ultimately become more of a burden than we may intend. When we define bisexuality as a form of “straight” masculinity that comes along with the benefits of gay intimacy, we aren’t just devaluing gay mens’ worth, we’re limiting the number of ways that bisexual guys can fit into the community.

# # #

Biphobia Is a Destructive Force

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/neil-endicott/biphobia-is-a-destructive-force-in-our-community_b_7965970.html?

Biphobia Is a Destructive Force -- And It Needs to Stop

NEIL ENDICOTT
Bisexuality Coach and Author of 'How to be a Happy Bisexual'.
Posted: 08/11/2015 9:02 am EDT


Biphobia has a destructive impact on bisexual people's lives. It pushes many of us to hide in the closet to avoid ridicule and rejection. It can affect our well-being and sense of identity. It makes it harder for us to develop confidence and be assertive about who we are.

Looking back on my own experience, some relatively small incidences of biphobia had a large and negative effect on my life.

I first came out when I was 19 to a straight girlfriend. She was taken aback, but seemed pleased that I wanted to be open with her.

Shortly afterwards, the jokes started.

Smiling, she asked me if I was in love with a male friend of mine. "No, why would I be?," I replied. "I was only joking!" she said. Later, she started calling me "gay boy," I think intending it to be a kind of in-joke. I didn't like it, but at the time I lacked the confidence to challenge her.

Then she announced that I wasn't bisexual after all. She'd consulted with a gay friend of hers who told her that bisexual men didn't exist. I was just a confused straight person looking for attention. To her, I fancied myself as a latter-day Lord Byron figure, trying to mark myself out as different and special.

I admit that back then, I liked being told by someone that I was really straight. I didn't want to be bisexual, and the fact that I knew in my heart that I was, and always would be bi, made me unhappy.

On the day we split up, she didn't waste the opportunity to tease me about my professed bisexuality. "Bisexual then!" she said, shaking her head, "Really? What a silly boy you are!" We didn't speak much after that.

Her denial and mockery expressed not only her biphobia, but her difficulty in accepting that I might be telling the truth. By turning it into a joke, she was able to erase the possibility of bisexuality, and fit me into a simpler category that made sense to her.

She was unaware, however, that her actions had a serious impact on my sense ofidentity. Having plucked up the courage to come out to her (the first person I had ever come out to), it felt like a slap in the face not to be taken seriously. I was learning that honesty about my sexuality could cause problems.

A few years later, I mentioned to a friend that I was bisexual. I wanted to share this fact about myself to ease the burden of my shame and discomfort. I wanted someone else to know and accept who I was. My friend seemed uncomfortable with the news. He told me that when men say they're bisexual, they're actually gay. He didn't seem to want to discuss it further. I didn't want to argue. I knew that the recognition I needed was not going to come from him. We didn't discuss it again.

I decided it would be safer not to talk about my bisexuality anymore. I went back into the closet and stayed there until my late 20s.

Nowadays, as an openly bisexual 30-something man, I respond assertively to biphobic comments and beliefs. But as a younger man, I wasn't confident enough to challenge such ignorance, and instead retreated into myself.

The strange thing is that the two people I first came out to were people who I liked, who liked me, and who in other ways treated me well. Somehow, though, they couldn't cope with the idea of me being bisexual.

I was a victim of biphobia, but so were they. They had absorbed society's biphobia, and when confronted with a bisexual person, they didn't know what to do but rely on the misguided ideas and stereotypes about bisexuals that still persist in our culture.

Since I came out to everyone in my late 20s, I've been lucky, for the most part, to find the acceptance and recognition that I wanted. I've been able to develop a sense of confidence in my sexuality, and I feel happy now about being bisexual. I know from experience that feeling comfortable about your bisexuality is something that you can learn, despite the existence of biphobia.

It would have been so much easier though, if I'd received a warm welcome, rather than prejudice, when I first came out.


Neil Endicott is a bisexuality coach and author of 'How to be a Happy Bisexual: A Guide to Self-Acceptance and Wellbeing'. He blogs on bisexuality and wellbeing athappybisexual.com