Bunch o' Bros

  

Natural in Nature Pic of the Day

NYTimes Recognizes "Bromosexuals"

Now that the NYTimes has taken notice, it must be a real thing. Of course, many of us have been in touch for a long, long time . . .

The New York Times

MEN'S STYLE | CULTURAL STUDIES

The Rise of the ‘Bromosexual’ Friendship
By JIM FARBER, OCT. 4, 2016

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/07/fashion/mens-style/gay-straight-men-friendship.html?_r=1

Lucas Whitehead, right, and his roommate Ben Moss in Fort Greene, Brooklyn.

Credit: Andrew White for The New York Times 

A recent ad for the Bravo TV show “Shahs of Sunset” finds two of its male stars lazing on lounge chairs at the beach. Amid a scene of scantily clad sun worshipers, the best friends Reza Farahan and Mike Shouhed gaze at different objects of desire: Mr. Farahan at musclebound guys, Mr. Shouhed at voluptuous women.

Their distinct lusts, which may have alienated gay and straight men from each other in the past, inspire the ultimate gesture of fraternal connection: a fist bump.

“Mike and I are so similar,” Mr. Farahan said. “He has been a womanizer and I’ve been a player. In the ad, we’re having a moment, and it’s the same moment. The only difference is that I’m looking at men and he’s looking at women.”

The bond strikes the Irish author Jarlath Gregory as fresh for the culture and familiar to him. His latest novel, “The Organised Criminal,” has at its center a brotherly friendship between a gay man and a straight man.

“That kind of easy relationship would not be credible to a broad audience 10 years ago,” said Mr. Gregory, 38, who is gay. “One of the things my publisher liked about my book was that this friendship was something we haven’t seen much before.”

At least in pop culture we haven’t. Obviously, there have always been friendships between gay men and straight men, but only recently have they become more prominently, and comfortably, represented in TV shows, movies, books and blogs.

There is often a traditionally masculine sense of familiarity at play in these portrayals, exuding a feeling particular enough to suggest its own term: bromosexual relationships.

Their emerging representation contrasts with one that has become a cliché: the connection between a straight woman and her gay male best friend.

The latest media reflection also takes a significant leap from one of its earliest iterations. From 2003 to 2007, “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” presented gay men as magical beings who functioned as helpers to heterosexual men, schooling them in matters of fashion and home décor while keeping much of their own lives off-screen.

By contrast, the last season of “Scream Queens” found the hunky Nick Jonas presenting himself as a gay frat boy who bonds over golf with his straight fraternity brother and best friend, Chad.

Wing Men

In the recent documentary “Strike a Pose,” about Madonna’s dance troupe from her “Blond Ambition” tour, a key plotline traces the arc of the lone straight dancer from homophobe to a man who becomes emotionally liberated by his many gay friends. Another Bravo series, “Manzo’d With Children,” prominently features the relationship between the heterosexual lead brothers and their gay best friend, who was previously their roommate.

And that network’s most recognizable representative, Andy Cohen, who is gay, rarely misses an opportunity to toast his close kinship with the guitar hero and ultimate ladies man John Mayer.

Mr. Cohen mentions Mr. Mayer no fewer than 14 times in his best-selling book “The Andy Cohen Diaries.” He also wrote an article for Entertainment Weekly last year chronicling their bromosexual exploits. In one outing, during gay pride weekend, they attended a concert by an incarnation of a band both men love, the Grateful Dead.

Mr. Cohen wrote that a friend had texted him: “if I’d celebrated gay pride in any more of a straight way, I’d have had sex with a girl at the Super Bowl.” Another night, Mr. Cohen and Mr. Mayer went to a gay bar, where Mr. Cohen found that his heterosexual pal was the “ultimate wing man.”

“Straight men are very good that way,” said David Toussaint, whose compilation of essays, “Toussaint!,” contains many humorous pieces about sexual identity. “If I’m walking down the street with this young, straight guy I know, and he sees a guy look at me, he’ll say, ‘Go get him!’”

Vin Testa, 26, a math teacher in Washington, D.C., who is also an L.G.B.T. liaison for the district’s public schools, said the changes in relationships between straight and gay men have been so rapid that he sees a significant difference just since he graduated from high school. One of his greatest obstacles in coming out, he said, was something he thinks many gay men share: “the intense fear of losing those masculine friendships we have had.”

As it happened, the main impetus for Mr. Testa to come out in college was discovering that friends from his high school football team were “the ones who most wanted me to do it,” he said. “They were honestly concerned for me.”

Mr. Gregory, the Irish author, thinks that one connecting point for the younger generation is the proliferation of geek culture. “It’s technology, superhero movies, Pokémon Go and even some indie rock,” he said. “They’re all part of an often male culture that young gay guys feel part of, too.”

For men of an older generation, there is more distrust to surmount. “Our traditional way of thinking of relationships with gay and straight men is that they are hostile, even bullying,” said Michael LaSala, 57, the author of “Coming Out, Coming Home: Helping Families Adjust to a Gay or Lesbian Child.” “For that reason, gay men have traditionally not felt comfortable in these relationships.”

Mr. LaSala, who is gay, said he could not imagine being close friends with a straight man when he was in his 20s. In the last few years, however, he has formed a warm bond with Dr. Robert Garfield, 70, a straight man who wrote the book “Breaking the Male Code: Unlocking the Power of Friendship.” The two lecture together on the negative effects of homophobia on straight and gay males.

“My relationship with Michael, and with other gay men, is wonderful for me,” Dr. Garfield said. “It expands me as a human being. There’s a playfulness in talking about sex that I don’t hear from my straight male friends.”

A Balm for Old Wounds

“There’s a sense of a reprieve,” said Odie Lindsey, 45, a straight fiction writer and gulf war veteran, whose new book of short stories, “We Come to Our Senses,” features several gay characters. “With heterosexual male friends, sometimes a subject comes up that will require a particular allegiance to what guys are expected to say and do. That can feel blustery and false. It’s nice not to have to listen to a chorus of people who feel compelled to act the same way.”

For gay men, Mr. LaSala said: “friendships with straight men can be very healing. When you experience a close friendship with a straight guy and that person is very accepting, it’s a balm for some old wounds.”

At the same time, striking contrasts exist in the two worlds. Gay men say it is common for their heterosexual male friends to be jealous of, or at least compelled by, the efficiency and seeming ubiquity of man-on-man hookups.

“Straight guys complain, ‘You can just meet a guy and go home and have sex,’” Mr. Toussaint said. “One hot straight guy I know complains, ‘With a girl, I have to take her out and put on all these airs, when all I want to do is sleep with her and move on.’”

In sex and dating, straight men also have to navigate complex power imbalances between the genders. Gay men can avoid that anxiety.

On the other side, some gay men express jealousy over certain aspects of heterosexual male presentation. “Straight guys can let themselves go and no one cares,” Mr. Gregory said. “Gay men are judging each other worse than women in terms of body shaming.”

If such contrasts create fascination, other distinctions can be damaging. The cliché and lingering suspicion that a gay man may harbor a crush on his straight friend potentially throws off the power balance and erodes trust. “A gay man can worry, ‘What if this guy thinks I’m coming on to him?’” Mr. LaSala said. “‘And what would that mean for the relationship?’”

The writers of “Scream Queens” exorcised that anxiety through satire in a scene that gained traction on YouTube. It portrayed Mr. Jonas’s character conning his way into the bed of his straight best friend. “That kind of crush seems really antique,” said Lucas Whitehead, 29, a straight man who lives in a brownstone in Fort Greene populated by a revolving mix of heterosexual and homosexual males.

Amid his milieu, he reports zero self-consciousness about having gay friends or roommates. Yet disconnects do linger, some of them concerning sex. “I’ll talk to gay friends about the before, not the after,” Mr. Whitehead said.

It’s an attitude echoed by one of his gay roommates, Ben Moss, 25, who said: “I talk with straight guys about what surrounds the sex rather than what we’ve actually done.”

According to Mr. LaSala, many well-meaning straight guys can feel awkward addressing subjects they know they don’t fully understand. He thinks it’s important for straight men to acknowledge the differences.

He relates this to friendships between those of a different race. “Some of us who are white are rightfully accused of being ‘colorblind,’” Mr. LaSala said. “There’s an equivalent for straight men who can be ‘culture blind.’”

Sometimes there is dissonance when one friend finds himself in a group dominated by those of another orientation, rather than connecting one to one. “Listening to bunches of straight guys together is like hearing a foreign tongue,” Mr. Toussaint said. “The language is so strangely impersonal: ‘dude,’ ‘brewskies,’ ‘the game.’ They must feel the same way about the things we talk about.”

At the same time, many men find value in the distinctions.

“I’m happy that I get to live around people who have a different life experience than I do, and I’m happy that they get to be around me,” Mr. Moss said. “A homogeneous experience in friendships isn’t good for anyone.”

# # #

Bromance at the Olympics

http://www.outsports.com/2016/8/14/12475690/abs-asses-hugs-bromance-rio-olympics-gay-athletes


OLYMPICS

Abs, hugs and asses: Bromance at the Olympics

By Jim Buzinski  @outsports on Aug 14, 2016




Seeing athletes show affection never gets old.


One of the coolest things about the Olympics is seeing athletes show emotion, especially affection in an arena that is acceptable to men. It's a bromance novel every four years.

It's also great to see some of the athletes better assets, often hidden underneath their uniforms — namely their abs. And finally, a parting shot that shows what all that rowing does to build one's glutes.

Bromance

Canada's Gavin Schmitt (L) embraces Canada's Tyler Sanders after they won the men's qualifying volleyball match between the USA and Canada (Photo by Pedro UgarteAFP/Getty Images)



Gregorio Paltrinieri of Italy celebrates winning gold with Gabriele Detti of Italy, who won bronze in the Men's 1500m Freestyle Final (Photo by Clive Rose/Getty Images) 

Jack Laugher, left, and Chris Mears of Great Britain celebrate winning the Men's Diving Synchronized 3m Springboard Final. (Photo by Adam Pretty/Getty Images)


Moises Duque of Brazil and Carlin Isles of the United States embrace after the Men's Placing 9-12, Match in rugby. (Photo by David Rogers/Getty Images) 

Diego Hypolito (right) and Arthur Mariano of Brazil celebrate winning silver and bronze respectively after the Men's Floor Exercise Final. (Photo by Quinn Rooney/Getty Images) 

Silver medalist Chase Kalisz of the United States and gold medal medalist Kosuke Hagino of Japan embrace during the medal ceremony for the Final of the Men's 400m Individual Medley. (Photo by Adam Pretty/Getty Images) 

Marc Lopez of Spain and Rafael Nadal of Spain celebrate victory in their men's doubles semifinal. (Photo by Clive Brunskill/Getty Images)



South Africa's Tim Agaba (right) embraces South Africa's Kwagga Smith after victory in the mens rugby sevens bronze medal match between Japan and South Africa. (Photo byJohn MacDougall/AFP/Getty Images) 

Kazakhstan's Dmitriy Balandin (L) celebrates with third placed Russia's Anton Chupkov after he won the Men's 200m Breaststroke Final. (Photo by Odd Andersen/AFP/Getty Images)


Junghwan Kim of S. Korea (right) embraces Nikolay Kovalev of Russia following the men's individual sabre quarterfinal. (Photo by Cameron Spencer/Getty Images)


Gabriel Jesus (right) of Brazil celebrates with teammate Neymar his goal against Denmark. (Photo by Nelson Almeida/AFP/Getty Images)


Abs


Floor exercise silver medalist Diego Hypolito (bottom) and bronze medalist Arthur Mariano (From Mariano's Instagram)


Brazilian gymnast Francisco Barretto Jr. (From Baretto's Instagram)

Max Whitlock, British gymnast, who won two gold medals in Rio on Sunday. (Photo by Alex Livesey/Getty Images). 

WHITLOCK WAS MUCH HAIRIER AT THE LONDON OLYMPICS!

British sprinter Harry Aikines (From Instagram)

South Korea judo athletes, from left, Gwak Dong-han, Lee Seung-su, An Chang-rim, An Baul, and Kim Won Jin. (Via Instagram)



Italy's Fabio Basile, gold medalist in men's 66kg judo. (Photo by Jack Guez/AFP/Getty Images)


Bronze medalists Are Strandli (left) and Kristoffer Brun of Norway in the Lightweight Men's Double Sculls. (Photo by Patrick Smith/Getty Images) 

Asses


Openly gay New Zealand Olympic rower Robbie Manson (left) with his brother Karl, also a rower. The photo has the caption: "@warwick_rowers eat your heart out! #kiwirowers #nakedrowers #nzscenery #thatviewthough"(From Robbie Manson's Instagram).



Related:

Male Olympic gymnasts might be better off competing shirtless. 

Hot male gymnasts of the Olympics.

Spooning & Bromance

Spooning for success: Over 95% of straight male college athletes admit to cuddling their teammates in bed

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• Researchers found that 97.5% of heterosexual, male British college athletes have shared a bed with another

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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2618085/Spooning-success-Over-95-heterosexual-male-British-athletes-admit-cuddling-teammates-bed.html
 

By MARK PRIGG

Published 1 May 2014

Researchers have found that the majority of male athletes spoon each other when sharing beds with their teammates.

Researchers found that 97.5% of heterosexual, male college athletes have shared a bed with another man and 93.5% admit to having indulged in spooning.

Researchers say the athletes even spooned with others who were not necessarily close friends.

The researchers say the behavior is common among athletes as they travel and shower together, but is common among all young men - although tapers off with age.

The study, published last month in the Men and Masculinities journal, was conducted by two researchers at Winchester and Durham Universities, who questioned 40 University athletes.

'In addition to cuddling, participants also engage in ‘spooning’ with their heterosexual male friends,' Eric Anderson and Mark McCormack wrote.

'Highlighting the prosaic nature of bed sharing for these participants, most indicated that it was not necessary to be close friends to share a bed with someone.'

One of the participants said the act was simply one of friendship.

'I love a quick cuddle, just so you remember your friends are about and are there for you.'

Another said: 'I feel comfortable with Connor and we spend a lot of time together. I happily rest my head on Connor’s shoulder when lying on the couch or hold him in bed. But he’s not the only one. The way I see it, is that we are all very good and close mates. We have a bromance where we are very comfortable around each other.'

The researchers say the behavior is common among athletes as they travel and shower together, but is common among all young men - although tapers off with age.

'Outside of an undergraduate setting the numbers are likely to be far less,' Anderson told Vocativ.

'While we know, definitively, that it is a regular occurrence among 16- to 18-year-olds in addition to university students, it is not likely to exist whatsoever among 40-year-old men,' he says.

'This is both a function of the homohysteric culture that 40-year-old men experienced in their adolescence, as much as it is a function of the fact that 40-year-old men go home to sleep in bed with their spouses.'

Experts say the study reflects changing attitudes to male sexuality.

'We argue that the expansion of esteemed homosocial behaviors for heterosexual men is evidence of an expansion of changing conceptions of masculinity in contemporary culture, the researchers wrote.

Some of the interviewees even admitted they had no problem with their bedmate waking up with a morning erection.

'We don’t give anyone s**t anymore,' said one.

* * * * * *

And how about these bromances? Click and read. Sweet!

Avengers: Tom Hiddleston & Chris Hemsworth

https://www.buzzfeed.com/lyapalater/chris-hemsworth-and-tom-hiddleston-are-the-hottest-bromance?utm_term=.mtOYaMxKYq#.yazzQw5JzG

And from Hunger Games, Josh Hutcherson and Sam Claflin . . .

http://www.mtv.com/videos/movies/978792/did-sam-claflin-and-josh-hutcherson-share-a-kiss.jhtml#id=1717115

http://pjatobeth.tumblr.com/post/69927084332/jam-hutcherflin-its-a-full-blown-bromance

And a few more . . .

One of My Favorite Things - Bromance

“Bromance” by Bertil Nelsson

Found this cool vid at...

http://notsostraightguy.tumblr.com/

A Bunch of Bros

BROMANCE refers to relationships shared by two males who can be straight, bi, gay, or any gradation in between. BROMANCE is characterized by varying degrees of masculine affection, devotion, loyalty, solidarity, shared experiences, physical closeness, love. Bros are teammates, roommates, punch-in-the-arm best buddies who play ball together, shower together, j.o. together, double-date and fuck girls together, take advantage of being fuck-buddies now and then, or are devoted to one another body and soul like Scooter and Bubba. Figuring it out can be a challenge for those on the outside because of the complicated emotions and influences involved, so bros never worry about figuring it out and just go with it. Including sex, which has the advantage of being convenient because of proximity and easy because dudes are always horny. Bros instinctively understand without having to explain their feelings. Bros are “there” for each other without question or hesitation. Bros trust each other, have the most fun with each other, would do almost anything for -- and with! -- each other. The images below illustrate different aspects of bros and BROMANCE . . .

 

 

. . . even red-neck boys -- as long as they're in the woods . . .